Author?

Well, after being told by more than a few people that I should write a
book, I have decided to give it a shot. I know it's not going to be an
easy task to accomplish, but it should be a learning experience if
nothing else. No, you can't read what I have written. If you have to
ask, you aren't one of the ones who will get to read my work before it
is finished. There will only be a select few that will get that privilege.

Transgender BBQ

Well it looks as if we are going to have a transgender friendly BBQ at
our place on July 5th. :) This should be a fun day and a chance for many
of us to get out and be ourselves for the day.

Just being one of the girls...

Recently, I was out shopping with my wife and daughter at Kohl's. My
wife wanted to look for some new shoes so we were browsing through the
shoe section. At one point there was a teenage girl shopping with her
mom. She was trying on a pair of pink wedge sandals (really cute, I may
have to buy a pair). Her mom turned to me as I walked by and said "What
do you think?" I told her that I didn't think they matched the top the
girl was wearing, after all pink is the one color where it needs to
match perfectly. She thanked me for my opinion and went on their way.
This is definitely one of those "one of the girls" kinds of questions
that women don't ask to guys...

Abby Sciuto look out!

Abby Sciuto look out!, originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

I think I just found my new favorite look....

Moving on one day at a time...

Well, today was a little less stressful for me than yesterday. That is a
good thing.I really needed a pick me up so this morning when I went to
get my nails done I got a pedicure as well. It always makes me feel
better when I get a pedicure. If you've never had a pedicure, you really
should go and have one done.

Tonight we decided to go out to eat dinner, so we wen to a local sports
bar that we like to eat at. On the way in I caught a guy at the bar
checking me out. I'm not sure what he thought when I picked my daughter
up.. LOL On the way out, he was still at the bar and I saw him turn to
watch us go. I always think it's kinda funny when I see that sort of
thing happen when we're out. After dinner we stopped at Wawa to get some
milk and the girl at the checkout complimented me on my bangle bracelets...

I'm sad...

Tonight I had to do something that I thought I would never do. I left
the Rainbow Lounge. For about 18 months, the group has been what I lived
for. I poured my heart and soul into the group because it was a great
place for transgendered individuals to get the support that so many
desperately needed. I built a website and chat room for the group. Every
day for the last year I moderated the group, trying to keep it a safe
place for us to be. Then, one day it all started to unravel. It was no
longer the great support group that it once was. It became a place where
members were afraid to post for fear of being yelled at by those in
charge, a place where discussion and debate were no longer welcome if it
did not fit a certain mold. It became a place where each and every day I
felt like I had to stifle who I was to be in the group, wondering what
would be the taboo subject of the day.

That isn't what a support group is supposed to be about. It is supposed
to be a place where you can ask an honest question and get honest
answers. It should be a place where you can mention the "unmentionable"
words so that you can get an education about their true meanings.
Members should feel free to say how they see the world, even if it
disagrees with the way others see it.

I'm sad. For the first time in 15 years I'm even a little depressed. I
didn't want to leave, but I had to. To stay would have meant to become
something that I am not, to hurt a good friend even. I choose to be me
and to continue to be free to grow as a human being, to save my friend
any more anguish over this.

To my friend, you know who you are... I did this to save our friendship.
To stay would have meant tearing what we have apart. I hope you understand.