Saturday, September 29, 2007

Another successful day out

Rain is out of town for the day so I have our daughter all to myself for
the day. I needed to get my nails done today so I dressed pretty conservatively
(very typical for a day out for me). I went with a red spandex long sleeve top,
boot cut jeans and 3" heeled boots. We started today out at the nail salon and
we both got our nails done. None of the patrons gave me a second look, and if
they did figure me out, they did not let on. After that we went off to Walmart
to pick up a few things. The place was packed and I didn't notice any odd looks
or knowing glances from anyone at all. We stopped at Wendy's for lunch and ate
in the dining room. I think one or 2 younger girls read me but again, nothing
out of the ordinary. Nobody gave me weird looks or made any sort of comments at
all. Next we hit a local gym where they were doing child IDs. We walked right in
and nobody thought anything other than I was Katya's mom, if anything. After
that we headed to the park and spent nearly 3 hours there. I talked with the
other moms and dads there for a bit and not one indication from anyone that they
even suspected that I was a guy. Now, as most of you know, most of us don't
sound all that feminine, but doing my best non-masculine voice, after over an
hour of conversation, I didn't notice any hint of any of them figuring me out.

Now, to be realistic I have to believe that a few of them suspected if not
actually knew, but there was no indication of anything out of the ordinary from
anyone I encountered. I was accepted as a woman by all of them, even if I did
not pass to all of them. That is what acceptance vs passing is all about....

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Support ENDA

I don't normally get on the political bandwagon, but I subscribe to the AFA
(American Family Association) mailing list to keep tabs on what these people are
targeting. Here is the email that I just got (direct quote):

ENDA (H.R. 2015) could enshrine "sexual orientation" in federal law

Call Your U.S. Representative today to oppose ENDA

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) H.R. 2015 is likely to be voted on
this week in the U.S. House. ENDA is aimed at providing heightened protections
for a particular sexual behavior- homosexuality. It would grant special
consideration on the basis of "sexual orientation" or "gender identity" that
would not be extended to other employees in the workplace. That could spell
trouble for Christian business owners, churches and faith-based groups.
Proponents of the bill quickly point to "religious exemptions" in the bill, but
most agree that it is a sham.

Here is more information about ENDA H.R. 2015 from our friends at the Family
Research Council:

* ENDA affords special protection to a group that is not disadvantaged.
* The issue is not job discrimination: It is whether private businesses will
be forced by law to accommodate homosexual activists' attempts to legitimize
homosexual behavior.
* The first "religious exemption" clause is very narrow and offers no clear
protection to church-related businesses: Religious schools or charitable
organizations, religious bookstores, or any business affiliated with a church or
denomination fall outside this narrow definition, and could presumably be
required to hire homosexual applicants.
* The second "religious exemption" clause fails to offer protection for all
hiring by church-related organizations or businesses. The position of a teacher
of religion at a church-related school would be exempt, but, e.g., that of a
biology teacher would not. Thus, most of the teachers and staff at a religious
school would be covered by ENDA, which means that the church would be forced to
hire homosexual applicants for such positions-despite the fact that their
lifestyle would be in direct opposition to the religious beliefs of the
organization or company.
* It is unlikely that the "religious exemption" included in the bill would
survive court challenge: Institutions that could be targeted include religious
summer camps, the Boy Scouts, Christian bookstores, religious publishing houses,
religious television and radio stations, and any business with fifteen or more
employees.
* ENDA violates employers' and employees' Constitutional freedoms of
religion, speech and association. The proposed legislation would prohibit
employers from taking their most deeply held beliefs into account when making
hiring, management, and promotion decisions. This would pose an unprecedented
intrusion by the federal government into people's lives.
* ENDA would approvingly bring private behavior considered immoral by many
into the public square. By declaring that all sexual preferences are equally
valid, ENDA would change national policy supporting marriage and family.


Take Action

Clearly, this is an enormous threat to the freedom of religion and also
places unfair burdens on businesses, which should be allowed to make employment
decisions based on their religious convictions and business needs.

Urgent! Click here to contact your U.S. Representative. Ask him or her to
oppose the Employment Non-Discrimination Act of 2007 (ENDA) H.R. 2015.


END QUOTE

I am posting the following link which aids in writing to your congressmen. If
you have not written to your congressmen, I would urge you to do so in order to
counter this group's attempt to shut down ENDA. ENDA serves to help all of us
out in the workplace by giving us protections and legal recourse against job
discrimination.

http://eqfed.org/campaign/Support_ENDA

To read the text of the bill for yourself:
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h110-2015

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Another day out

Yesterday after I got done with my car work, etc. I got dressed up for the
afternoon. Then today we decided we wanted to hit the thrift shop again. I
decided to go with a jean halter dress, brown heels and the new wig for the day.
We went to the goodwill in Cherry Hill and I spent $25 and got like 9 tops, 3
pairs of slacks, a skirt and a pair of boots. Not too shabby. On the way out
there we stopped for gas and I got Ma'amed by the gas station attendant. At
goodwill they had an issue with their credit card printer so they had to do it
by hand. The girl behind the counter called a guy over for help and told him "I
know she needs to sign something, what do I do?" That always makes me feel good.
I don't know if she read me or not, but she treated me as a lady all the same.
There was one late-teens kid that kept watching me and commenting out of earshot
but I just ignored him. Afterwards we stopped at the Medport diner for lunch and
I didn't get any unusual looks or reactions from anyone. All in all it was a
good day out an I got to spent over 12 hours en femme. :)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

New pics

I posted a few pics of me in the new wig from yesterday. I definitely lik ethis
look. :) I think i'm going to get one like it in red too and see how I look as a
redhead...

Friday, September 21, 2007

Surviving a trip into men's territory

Well if you follow my blog you know that I am also a biker. Yesterday my bike
started making noise and I determined it was the chain, so I needed to get a new
one. This morning I had the chance for some Heather time for the first time in
over a week so of course I took advantage of it. I put on a long summer weight
skirt that starts as purple at the top and changes to orange as it nears the
bottom. I wore a white cami with a peach cami over it and tan 4" sandals. I also
got to try on the new wig I got last week for the first time.

Since I was working form home I made some phone calls I needed to take care of.
One of them was to the bike shop to see if they had my chain in stock. Once I
found out that they had it in stock I checked my makeup and headed out for the
bike shop. When I got there I headed over to the parts counter and asked the guy
behind the counter for what I needed and he got it for me without giving me a
second look. When he came back he asked me if I was going to do the install and
I told him I was. He gave me a few pointers on installing it and I went on my
way. I didn't see any odd looks and the guy certainly didn't look at me any
differently than any other customer.

Another successful outing into men's territory.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

New wig

Well it was time to try a different look so I got an auburn wig the other day.
I can't wait to see how it looks on me. I haven't had time since it arrived to
try it out and it is killing me... LOL I'll post some pics of it soon once i
actually try it on.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Getting read isn't always a bad thing

Well, before I get into what happened today, let me give you a little
background. My wife has been talking about nights out with the "girls" at her
work for about a year now. Most of the girls she works with know about the
"girls" and some are curious and have even asked if they could go out with the
"girls". Now, they know about the "girls" so its no big secret. Now, Heather on
the other hand is Joe's cousin as far as they are concerned as my wife is not
sure how they will take it. Well, this past weekend a coworker came over for our
BBQ. I was in my typical shorts and spandex top, flip flops and if you paid
attention, you'd notice i have french manicured toes. Well, my wife's coworker
noticed the nails, toes, and when she went to the bathroom she saw my wigs
hanging on the bedposts. Well, needless to say she put 2 and 2 together. Today
she asked my wife if I was Heather. She definitely figured it out, but she
didn't seem to have any issues with it either. Now we just have to wait and see
what questions come out of it.

New makeup

Well, since I started with the new makeup I must say that I am really impressed.
I find I get better coverage and it lasts longer. I'll redo the makeup video
when I have time as I have picked up some new ideas that seem to work well. To
give you an idea, I've been Heather for more than 13 hours now and I don't feel
like I need a shave. That is a first! :)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

What am I? And more importantly, why am I?

As if life wasn't confusing enough, I decided to look up the "accepted"
definitions that go along with who and what I identify with. What was fairly
simple just got really screwy. I have the entire text below, but have combined
parts from all that seem to fit and describe me very well:

Nearly every human society throughout history has distinguished between male and
female gender by the style, colour, or type of clothing they wear and has had a
set of norms, views, guidelines, or even laws defining what type of clothing is
appropriate for each gender.

Cross-dressing is a behaviour which runs significantly counter to those norms
and therefore can be seen as a type of transgender behaviour. An androgyne is a
person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender
roles of their society. Gender bender is an informal term used to refer to a
person who actively transgresses, or "bends," expected gender roles.

Many androgynes identify as being mentally "between" male and female. They may
experience mental swings between genders, sometimes referred to as being gender
fluid. Intergender is also a word that androgynes can use to describe being
between or beyond genders. Gender bending is a form of social activism in
response to assumptions or over-generalisations about genders.

Gender benders may self-identify as transgender, feeling that the gender
assigned to them at their birth is an inaccurate or incomplete description of
themselves; a person who cross-dresses does not always identify as having a
gender different from that assigned at birth. Transgender is the state of one's
"gender identity" (self-identification as male, female, both or neither) not
[necessarily] matching one's "assigned gender". A transgender individual may
have characteristics that are normally associated with a particular gender,
identify elsewhere on the traditional gender continuum, or exist outside of it
as "third gender".

Now, if you know me, I'd say that the above pretty accurately describes me. I am
all of the above and more.


And my sources, all from wikipedia:

Androgyne:

An androgyne is a person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and
feminine gender roles of their society. Many androgynes identify as being
mentally "between" male and female, or as entirely genderless. The former may
also use the term ambigender, the latter non-gendered or agender. They may
experience mental swings between genders, sometimes referred to as being
bigender or gender fluid.

Intergender is also a word that androgynes can use to describe being between or
beyond genders. Androgyne used to be primarily used as a synonym for
hermaphrodite (a term since replaced by the word intersex), but this usage has
fallen out of favor.

Androgynes sometimes refer to themselves using gender-neutral pronouns or the
singular they.[citation needed] A few even take steps toward transitioning from
their birth sex into a physically androgynous form.

Gender Bender:

Gender bender is an informal term used to refer to a person who actively
transgresses, or "bends," expected gender roles. Boy George was called a "gender
bender" because of him wearing make-up and feminine clothes. Gender bending is a
form of social activism in response to assumptions or over-generalisations about
genders. Some gender benders identify with the gender assigned them at birth,
but challenge the norms of that gender through androgynous behavior and atypical
gender roles. Gender benders may self-identify as transgender or genderqueer,
feeling that the gender assigned to them at their birth is an inaccurate or
incomplete description of themselves; some are transsexual and desire to change
their physical sex through hormone therapy or sex reassignment surgery, while
others were born intersexual. Others may identify as Two-Spirit or members of a
third gender.

Cross Dresser:

Nearly every human society throughout history has distinguished between male and
female gender by the style, colour, or type of clothing they wear and has had a
set of norms, views, guidelines, or even laws defining what type of clothing is
appropriate for each gender. Cross-dressing is a behaviour which runs
significantly counter to those norms and therefore can be seen as a type of
transgender behaviour. It does not, however, necessarily indicate transgender
identity; a person who cross-dresses does not always identify as having a gender
different from that assigned at birth.


Transgender:

from trans (Latin) and gender (English) ) is a general term applied to a
variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies that diverge
from the normative gender role (woman or man) commonly, but not always, assigned
at birth, as well as the role traditionally held by society.

Transgender is the state of one's "gender identity" (self-identification as
male, female, both or neither) not matching one's "assigned gender"
(identification by others as male or female based on physical/genetic sex).
Transgender does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation — transgender
people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual.

A transgender individual may have characteristics that are normally associated
with a particular gender, identify elsewhere on the traditional gender
continuum, or exist outside of it as "other," "agender," "intergender," or
"third gender". Transgender people may also identify as bigender, or along
several places on either the traditional transgender continuum, or the more
encompassing continuums which have been developed in response to the
significantly more detailed studies done in recent years.[1]

Androgenous or gender bender?

That really is an interesting issue to discuss. I spent a bit oftime this weekend discussing the differences with one of the girls. Some would say that i am very androgenous. While i would agree to the extent that geneticall that pretty well describes me, my form of dress definitey puts me more in the gender bender category when not Heather. I frequently will wear women's jeans and a mens tshirt, or a camisole and mens shorts. Most of my shoes are women's too, even at work. I freely mix mens and womens fashions when not enfemme. Whenever i wear women's tops and stretch jeans i get compliments on how good i look. I'm working on defining these terms more clearly for the uneducated. I would love to show the progression over the last 30 years or so....

Monday, September 03, 2007

My holiday weekend

I had a pretty full and active weekend. Saturday we had friends over for the
holiday BBQ. I was my typical self when it comes to dressing for the day.
Shorts, spandex shirt, flip-flops (the ones with the 1" soles and my french
toenails.. :) I'm not hiding who & what I am from the world. A few noticed my
toes who don't know Heather. My wife left it at the fact that I'm a bit
eccentric since she isn't sure how they will take me being s corssdresser, which
is fine by me really.

Yesterday we went to some other friends' house for a BBQ. We couldn't stay long,
but we had fun anyway. I was dressed similarly to the day before. Rain was asked
a few "curiosity" type of questions about Heather. This is a good thing as it
means that these friends also accept Heather although they aren't the type to
necessarily want to meet Heather.

Then we dropped our daughter off with the grandparents and headed off to New
Hope to spend time th the girls. I wore a purple flowered sleeveless dress
(ankle length) for the evening. We had a blast and I had some really great
conversations and got to meet one of the girls I have been corresponding with
for a while now, which is cool. Today I was Heather again and we shopped in New
Hope for a bit. I managed to find a thumb ring and some bracelets hat actually
fit me for a change. My wife finally bought some new bracelets too. I like to
see her getting new and different stuff. It's good for the soul.. LOL

On the way home we stopped at a winery (I was still Heather) and did a wine
tasting. The lady working there was really nice and I have no doubt that she
knew i was a guy. This was just one of those situations where I wasn't going to
hide it, and the conversation outted me if she had any doubts anyway. It doesn't
really matter anyway, to her we were paying customers and we did buy some wine.
She didn't give any signs that she had any issues with me, and I was just
another customer. This what passing is truly about. Being accepted at face value
regardless as to whether or not they read you.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Reopening an old chapter - Part 4

Well, 3 old classmates (2 female, 1 male) have contacted me in the last week.
Wow! All don't have any issues with me being me which is a good thing. The
latest wanted to add me to her friend list, so I did. It should prove
interesting to see who might find me now that there is a link between the old me
from high school and the new me. I knew that one day the 2 sides would merge,
and I think that now is the right time to begin (slowly) bringing the 2
together. Why shouldn't people know me as both Joe and Heather? I mean, really..
we are the same person after all. It's like Louise says to me all the time. I
have such a unique way of presenting myself and explaining things, how could
anyone not accept me for who I am? I think that for the first time in my life, I
finally know what it feels like to just be me. I don't feel like I have to hide
who I am or pretend that I am not a crossdresser in order for people to like me.
I am free to express myself as I see fit so long as I keep things appropriate
for the setting. Even my coworkers have accepted me for who I am. Life truly is
good.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Reopening an old chapter - part 3. The saga continues

Well, I got a myspace message from yet another female classmate yesterday. She
says she knows we went to school together (its in my myspace profile) and wants
to know who I am. I told her we were good friends in high school and she should
recognize the face. She still didn't recognize me. I told her who I am. Now I
wait to see what her reaction will be.. :)

My other female classmate has no issues with it and we have been emailing and
IMing since. :)