How to handle yourself when you are out in public and get read by people
is probably one of the hardest things that a transgendered person has to
face. It can also be one of the scariest moments in our lives. Last
night I was out with my wife and daughter at a local Chinese buffet
place for dinner. Now, I never pretend to fool myself into thinking that
I fool everyone that I come across. At best I would say that I can fool
90% of those that I meet in a public space when I am at my best. Last
night I might have fooled half of the people there. I definitely got
read by quite a few people in the restaurant.
When I was getting my food at the Mongolian grill I was chatting with an
older lady about it since she had never tried it before. I don't think
she figured me out, or at least there was no indication from her that
she did.
The waitress referred to me as "She", but was it simply politeness or
did she really not know? It's hard to say really, but the point is that
she clearly respected me as who I appeared to be.
The 2 guys at the next table definitely read me, and I kept catching the
one opposite me looking at me. Was he simply admiring my handy work?
Again it's hard to tell but there were no comments or rude looks of any
kind from either of them from what I could see.
When I was at the buffet with our daughter getting her food there was a
lady there with her 6-ish year old son. he looked at me and smiled as
she passed, but it wasn't one of those knowing smiles. It was more of a
2 women acknowledging each other smile.
On our way out I could see the one person who figured me out at tables
discreetly pointing me out to the others at the table followed by the
discreet look over the shoulder to check me out. I saw smiles from many
of the women when I looked in their direction. All comments made were
made discreetly and in a manner that I did not hear them.
In all of these cases I have no doubt that the way I carried myself
played a big part in how they reacted to figuring me out and afterwards.
I always held my head high and always made sure to give them my best
girly smile. I also let it go and kept going as if nothing happened. The
one thing that I never do in these cases is let it get to me. Hey, I'm a
guy in a dress after all (literally, last night). I was out to enjoy
dinner with my family and that is just what I did. If you act like you
belong there and carry yourself with dignity and respect, those around
you will treat you with respect.
And on the plus side, I gave some people something interesting to talk
about over dinner. Yes, I was out and yes I was read. But, you know
what? There are now a dozen or so people who have seen a cross dresser
up close and with their own 2 eyes. They were left with an impression
that was not one of a street walker or pedophile. They saw a respectable
person trying very hard to simply blend in as a woman. I consider last
night a positive experience because I may have opened a few minds to the
fact that we are real people too.
So, keep your heads held high and a smile on your face. Don't let the
person who figures you out bother you and enjoy your time as you.
