A 21st century American Geisha

Keep in mind that this is my opinion and I am sure that there are many that might disagree with how I feel on this, but it is how I feel.

I was watching the movie "Memoirs of a Geisha" last night and found it rather interesting just how much of the Geisha I could relate to being a cross-dresser. Another T-girl recently made the correlation between cross-dressers and Geisha and I could see some similarity, but seeing this movie I was amazed at the similarities. There is a very memorable quote from near the end of the movie that really hit home for me. Paraphrased here: "We are artists. As Geisha we are expected to be living works of art. We are not Geisha because we have chosen to be Geisha. We are Geisha because that is what we must be."

For many transgendered I think some or all of this can describe us. For me, I would say that I am a 21st century equivalent of a Geisha. As a cross-dresser I do think of myself as an artist. My body is my canvas and I do strive to emulate the female form in every way possible. When Heather is out in a public setting I want people to see me and take notice, to admire my handy work. At the same time I want there to be that air of mystery surrounding me. I want people to see me as a creature of beauty to be admired but at the same time to be un-attainable and alluring. I want the men to stare and the women to be jealous, envious even. I want the men to be afraid to approach me for fear that I might turn them away. I want them to have butterflies in their stomachs as they try to find the right words to introduce themselves to me without sounding like a baboon. I welcome the stares as I walk by, the admiring glances. At the same time I want a crowd to gather around me when I speak, hanging on my every word, curious about why I do what it is that I do.

This statement about Geisha says quite a bit about how I feel I should be as Heather: " A successful geisha must demonstrate beauty, grace, artistic talent, charm, impeccable etiquette, and refinement". There is one scene where the onesan (mentor) tells her maiko (trainee) that the test of a true Geisha is if you can stop a man in his tracks with a single glance. To see this scene unfold in the movie really made me feel good about myself, as I think this is also the ultimate test of a successful cross-dresser (at least it is for me). Whenever I walk through a store or out in town I observe the reactions of those around me. Whenever I see a guy's eyes following me I know I accomplished my goal. As a cross-dresser I am not a slut (well, at least not publicly.. lol), I am a respectable woman, a goddess even. Whenever Heather interacts with someone for whatever reason, I try to be all of these things and more. I want the person to be left with a good feeling about cross-dressers, not the typical "guy out trolling for sex" opinion that the public seems to have about us.

When I put my makeup on it is done with style and class. When I dress I take great care to make sure that everything is appropriate and that nothing is out of place. I am transforming myself into an object of desire. I am becoming a Geisha.