A note to all of our TS sisters (and brothers) out there

I wrote this in response to a long thread in a mailing list that originated on the need for us health care to cover things like GRS/SRS.

I find it interesting that throughout this thread (Which, BTW has been extremely educational if you step back and read it without becoming attached) several people have mentioned that as a cross-dresser I can just turn it on or off as I feel like it. I can be male or female as I choose. I hate to break it to the rest of the world, but (at least for me) there is no "off" switch for Heather (this goes for most cross dressers out there too). I cannot choose to be male any more than I can choose to be female. I am what I am, nothing more, nothing less. Every moment of my life since before the onset of puberty Heather has been there to some level or another. I do not cross dress because I choose to, because it turns me on, because I like the feel of the clothes, etc. Sure those may be factors at some level of my existence. I have to be Heather. If I cannot be Heather I might as well curl up and die, because a key piece of who I am would die. I do not have the option of being one or the other. I must be both or I will not be at all.

When I say that I have talked to thousands of cross dressers, ts's, etc I am not exaggerating this. The one thing that is most common with virtually all of us is at some point in our existence (for many several times) we try to throw it away, telling ourselves "I can stop this anytime I want to". The truth of the matter is that we cannot. Cross dressing is an integral part of the cross dresser, it is what defines who we are as a human being. OK, so we do not feel trapped in the wrong body, but that is just about the only difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual. We (cross dressers) go through virtually all the life cycles that you (collectively) as a TS have gone through in your life. We lose friends, family, loved ones, housing, jobs, etc. over the fact that occasionally we dress as a woman. We are called names like "faggot", etc. because the ignorant do not understand us. It is assumed that we are gay because we choose to wear a skirt. We are picked on and beat up in school because we are different.

What makes it even worse for us (cross dressers) is that many transsexuals (and this is not directed at any one individual, so don't get your panties in a bunch) look on cross dressers as if we were some vile, filthy thing. We are just play-acting, we're not really transgendered. We are sub-human because we do not want to have GRS and go on hormones to develop our own breasts. I am not making this up, I hear comments made by TS's all the time along these lines. We are outcasts even within the GBLT(I) community to some level. So in some ways life is worse for us than it is for the TS. We can't even call the GBLT(I) community our home, at least you have that.

So I say this to the transsexuals out there (and if this pisses you off, you are probably one of the ones that I am referring to), get off your high horse and join the rest of us. We are all in this together, for the same reasons. We are one, sisters (and brothers) even. Stop the bickering and join us in the fight for equality and acceptance, as I am actively doing every day for all of you. Don't draw lines in the sand unless it is circle around all of us.