Recognized at costco

Its a heather day and I'm definitely looking femme. A lady working at costco wished me a merry xmas. It turns out her kid was in my daughters class last year. She said she sees my wife here all the time, so she definitely knows I'm a guy. Nothing negative freom her at all.

I hate snow

It looks like it'll be at least another week before I can get the bike out of the shed because of the snow. That stinks!

I got maam'ed again in guy mode

On Xmas day, we stopped to gas up the Jeep before the storm hit and when the attendant returned my card, he said "here you go ma'am". The funny thing is I was not having a Heather day at all. I do have my nails done French though and I guess since he saw the nails when I gave him the card, he assumed I was a woman. It just goes to show how little people pay attention sometimes.

Way too much snow

Well, I finally got us shoveled out enough to get the vehicles out. It's nearly waist deep by the road and a good 18" deep everywhere else. The roads are passable, but barely. There isn't any pavement to be seen at all anywhere.

12" and counting

We have at least a foot out there and it's still coming down like mad. I am fairly certain that nobody's going to work tomorrow. I took the kids to the old stone store this afternoon to do some sledding. They lasted 10 minutes and we headed for home. It was 25f, 20-30 mph winds and not fun.

blizzard warning

This morning they upgraded the forecast from winter storm warning to blizzard warning. It looks like we're getting that 12-18" today.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow (somewhere else)

The latest forecast says we're expecting 12-18" of snow tomorrow beginning in the morning and getting real heavy by mid-day. I am not looking forward to shoveling, but I was smart. Both jeeps are parked down at the bottom of the driveway, so I only need to shovel a path to them from the house and clear out the plowed stuff at the end. On the plus side, the kids will get to use the new 2 person sled that Santa got them.

Merry xmas

The kids woke us up at 6:45 to open presents. Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Booboo in the Xmas tree

Wish i had found this a week ago

I've had one of my sockets that hurts like heck since I had my wisdom teeth taken out. Advil works for a while then it hurts again. I discovered the Red Cross toothache kit at the grocery store. It's a pair of tweezers, tiny cotton balls, and a bottle of clove oil. Soak the cotton ball in the clove oil and hold it on the sore spot for a minute and it does a nice job of numbing things. In less than 5 minutes, I've gone from a dull ache to hardly even noticeable. It should last 4 or 5 hours from what I've read.

Its blueberry...

I just cracked a bottle of the blueberry mead tonight. Its just under a year old and definitely getting better with age. This is some good stuff. :)
Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Real food...

Tonight I had an omelet at IHOP and man did it taste good. After nearly 2 days of pudding and applesauce I was so ready for real food again. I am so glad I had all 4 wisdom teeth done at the same time. I'd hate to go through this again.

Another take on TSA security...

owie

I had all 4 wisdom teeth taken out this morning, so I'm not too happy right now. On the plus side, the oral surgeon was good. I didn't feel a thing.

You know it's cold when...

When you walk out the door with damp hair and your hair freezes. Crackberry... The only way to fly.

More photos still

I found yet more photos to upload to Heather's site. More to come.

More photos uploaded

I have uploaded more photos to the family site as I get caught up on our library.

Jury duty...

Well, I got a jury summons for next month, which got me thinking. Being as NJ does have anti-discrimination policies in place for "gender identity or expression", I am seriously thinking of showing up dressed as Heather for jury duty. Just to be sure, I called the jury management office and asked if this would present a problem and their answer was (after checking with a coworker) "You mean like a transvestite? No problem at all. That would be up to your personal preference." So, it looks as if I'll have a Heather week next month. I'll be sure to post on my experience if I do indeed go through with this (which I am almost certain that I will).

WTF TSA....

Wigs...

Over the weekend we went to a Ladies Night Out party, but that isn't what I wanted to write about. What I wanted to write about was something that I saw on more than one girl there. It seems that some of us don't quite know how to put a wig on and have it look natural. In this case, what I saw a few times was a girl who had her wig pulled way too far forward, probably in an attempt to minimize their forehead or make their face smaller. Unfortunately, all it did was make them look like someone who was wearing a really bad wig.

It is important to remember that women's hair lines and men's (non-receding) hair lines are in about the same place. Wigs are designed with the hair line to match a woman's natural hair line. If you pull the wig too far forward, what happens is the part at the top also shifts down and forward and the crown of the wig, which should sit at the top back of the head now sits at the very top of the head and looks totally unnatural. A good guideline is the front of the wig cap should sit between 3 and 4 fingers width above the eyebrows. Any lower and the wig will not sit correctly. If you want to minimize your forehead, buy a wig that has short bangs that come down to the eyebrows a bit.

New photos uploaded

I uploaded some new photos to the galleries on the web site this morning.

Ladies Night Out

Last night we went to the Ladies Night Out party and had a good time. I danced so hard that my legs are still tired, but it was so worth it. Next months party is the 29th and we plan to attend if we can.

New website look

I decided it was time to pick a new theme for my website.

Yup, this is our kids alright...

We have a sitter...

We have a sitter for Saturday night so it looks like we can go out after all. Yay!

not happy right now

We have plans for Saturday night and just lost our baby sitter. Now we have to try and find one on short notice. :(

So true...

We're going to see Alegria...

Well, I just booked tickets to see the Cirque du Soleil show Alegria when it comes to Atlantic City in April. I can't wait!

The worst movie I've ever seen...

We're watching the Bridge to Terabithia. This has to be, by far, the worst movie I have ever seen. It lost my attention within the first 5 minutes and went down hill from there. If it weren't for the fact that my daughter is watching it I would have turned it off long ago.

Make it stop!!!!!

I have Christmas songs stuck in my head and it's not after Thanksgiving yet!!!! Make it stop! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Car seat expiration dates... huh???

Ok, so after buying a new car seat for our 3 year old last week I see it has an expiration date on it. The first thing that went through my head was, "say what???" It's not like it is gonna get moldy after a few weeks like cheese after all, so I did some digging. It turns out that the car seat expiration dates are a bunch of crap. I hate to say this, but car seat manufacturers are doing this to drive more sales, in spite of stating otherwise.

Read this article from the NY times in 2005. It tells the truth behind the myth. Yes, car seats should be replaced somewhat regularly, but not for the reasons you might think.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/11/business/11shortcuts.ready.html?ex=12761424...

It turns out that the primary motivators for the expiration dates are changes in technology and the fact that manufacturers stop testing seats after a certain age. This DOES NOT mean that the car seat is unsafe because it is over 6 years old. The plastics used have a lifespan of at least 10 years. "It's not as if you'll hit the expiration date and the plastic will become weak," he said. "The plastic is good for at least 10 years. But regulations and standards are constantly changing."

So, before you toss that car seat because of a fictitious expiration date, check it over for condition and use your own judgment. What a concept!

IMG00042-20101118-1821.jpg

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Cat nap

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

A fun time was had by all

Last night we had a wine & cheese party. We had a decent turn out and it seemed like everyone had a good time. We had lots of good food and lots of good wine. :)

Saudi court rejects death sentence for TV psychic

Witchcraft??? I thought witchcraft went out like 200 years ago.

 

 

Saudi court rejects death sentence for TV psychic

via AP Top Headlines At 9:50 a.m. EST by By ABDULLAH AL-SHIHRI on 11/13/10

By ABDULLAH AL-SHIHRI 2010-11-13T13:17:26Z

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) -- Saudi Arabia's Supreme Court has refused to ratify the death sentence of a Lebanese psychic convicted of practicing witchcraft in a case that has outraged international human rights groups....

Ok, maybe it's an obsession...

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

A must see video

Now, this is a teacher who deserves to keep his job...

B.C.

10 drinkable varieties and counting...

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Katie's rendition of Heather

Booboo and mischief

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Sony retires the cassette Walkman after 30 years - CNN.com

I don't know what is scarier...

The thought that Sony is finally retiring cassette players, only about 10 years after they became obsolete. When was the last time YOU actually listened to a cassette? I haven't in at least 10 years. I replaced all mine with CDs in the mid-90's. Heck, I haven't popped a CD in a player in at least 4 years, they're all converted to MP3 now.

-or-

The thought that enough people still listen to audio cassettes that Sony actually still manufacturers players for them.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/gaming.gadgets/10/25/sony.retires.walkman.mashab...

The kitties

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

The new kittens

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Sometimes it was just meant to be

This morning we got word from the vet that Tigger didn't make it through the night. Today around 4:30 I learn that one of my coworkers' friends has two 9 week old kittens and needs to find them a home. So tonight we find ourselves with 2 9 week old grey & white kittens. Pictures to follow when I can get some.

RIP Tigger

We took our 8 month old cat in to be neutered and de-clawed yesterday. He died in the middle of the night... This isn't how I wanted to start my day.

ScientificAmerican.com: Can You Hear Me Now? The Truth about Cell Phones and Cancer

Hmm... makes me think there is something to this.

By Michael Shermer
Physics shows that cell phones cannot cause cancer

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=can-you-hear-me-now

Grumble...

Sunday I broke my hydrometer. Ok, no big deal. Tonight I went to make my pear wine and remembered I broke the hydrometer. Now I need to get another one and fast because I have 36lb of pears that will go bad in a relatively short period if I don't get the wine going real soon. It'll take till Friday to get a replacement and the nearest store is well over an hours drive away. I hppe I can get it before things go bad. Worst case scenario is I start the wine and guess on the sugar (guess on the light side) and when I get it in, adjust the mash accordingly. Ugh!

My next project

I need to make a fruit press to get the last bits of the good stuff our of my fruit after fermenting it. :)

http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f32/homemade-cider-press-146517/

I love my work...

Tonight I bottled 5 of my wines, and I have to say that they all came out quite nicely.

Pumpkin: While the flavor is subtle, it is there. I'm not sure if the flavor is because of the buckwheat honey I used or not, but it's a keeper. I think I'll make another gallon or two for next year.

Bananas with cocoa: This one came out excellent! I plan to convert 4 gallons of the second banana batch I made into this and see if I can duplicate this on a larger scale.

Plum: This came out a bit on the tart side, but rather than sweeten it up, I decided to try it with some chocolate. Wow, is this stuff good with chocolate! We have another winner. :)

Honeysuckle: What can I say? Come spring, I will be hunting down every flowering honeysuckle in a day or 2 within driving distance and hope I can find enough flowering vines to make a 6 gallon batch of the stuff. :)

Pineapple & orange: This is more of a Pineapple, but it is still quite tasty. The pineapple overpowered the orange, but you can taste the influence of the orange in it.

Perfect night

What could be more perfect than watching cartoons and eating popcorn with the kids?
Crackberry... The only way to fly.

I like this!

Homemade space craft hits 100,000 feet (19 miles)

This is well worth watching!

http://www.brooklynspaceprogram.org/BSP/Space_Balloon.html

A different take on Christianity...

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.

Hamilton Twp. legalizes target shooting, cross-dressing

Article attached. Thanks for the article, Louise. :)

Where we had dinner last night.

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Meeting the boss

Here's the scenario... It's a Heather day, denim shorts, black tights, black cami, black ruffled top, ballet flats. I'm working from home as I normally do on a Thursday (this morning), and which allows me the freedom for my Heather days in the first place. I get a call from one of the companies that I do work for that one of their main servers is down. Now, it's a 100 mile drive to this office and I don't want to be doing hardware support, but after some begging and pleading on their part I agree to make the drive. I have at most 5 hours before I have to be back home and it's at least a 3 hour drive round trip, which gives me 2 hours to find and fix the problem. There is no time for me to change before I leave, so I grab my purse and out the door I go.

Now, a few of the employees know about Heather, have seen pictures, etc. but the rest don't, including the boss. So I make the 100 mile drive and get to the office. I was actually nervous going into the building, even though I've been out at least 1000 times by now as Heather in all sorts of situations and places. So I walk in and poke my head into the office manager's office. She looks at me and says "I had to look a second time, I almost didn't recognize you. You're looking good Joe, or should I say 'Heather'." She met Heather a few years ago when I was going out with some girls in Boston after a conference we attended so it was no surprise to her.

As I was walking out of her office, the boss walked in. He stopped, looked at me and got a big smile as he said "wow, this is different. You've changed a bit." as he chuckled and kind of shook his head as he walked by, smiling the whole time. So he was OK with it, not that I expected any different from him since he's a pretty easy going guy. It's been about 5 months since they've seen me last, and always as Joe.

Right before I left, another worker came in (who knew of Heather). She looked me over and said "Nice... " I know she would have been bummed if she missed the opportunity to meet Heather, so I was glad she showed up before I left.

All said, it went well. No adverse reactions, and it was business as usual. I made it home with about 20 minutes to spare.

Gizmo

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Tigger sleeping

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

apple & brown sugar sparkling wine???

Ok, so I cracked one of the bottles of apple & brown sugar and there was a noticeable pop. If I hadn't been using a big corkscrew, the cork would have ended up on the other end of the room i'm sure. I definitely made sparkling wine, the real question is how??? The wine sat with no signs of bubbles for about 2 months before I bottled this stuff, yet it clearly re-started fermentation once I bottled it. About 2 weeks ago I blew a cork in one of the smaller bottles of the wine, so I know this bottle is not a one-off.

I love my new boots

I just had a rather interesting occurrence. I was dressed pretty typical for me. Jeans, maroon top with a big heart on it, my long brunette wig pulled back in a hair clip, a pink aeropostale hoody sweat jacket and my new boots. Oh, and I wore my glasses today for a change. Now, these boots are great. Knee high, 5 metal rings down the side, 5" block heel and a 2" platform. They are definitely attention getters and that is exactly what I got today.

I ran some errands earlier with no incident, but I had to run back out to Walmart for a few things. On my way out of Walmart, I spotted a Grand Cherokee on a 3" lift and over sized tires. OK, so I love 4x4 vehicles, especially Jeeps. I looked over as I approached it to check it out. Its owner (male) was sitting in the drivers seat. He saw me look over and said "Hey" and gave me a nod. I just gave him my normal big smile and kept on going to my Jeep to head to the grocery store on the other end of the parking lot.

After I got to the grocery store and parked, as I crossed the road in front I see this Jeep again stopped there to let me cross. He said "Darlin' you are looking mighty fine!" I just smiled at him again and kept going to get my cart and head into the store. After I had passed I heard him let out a big howl as he drove by.

As I was walking in the front door of the store, this older guy (and not unattractive at all) says rather loudly, "I thought so!" Of course I stopped and looked over to see what the commotion was all about. He looked at me and said "I was right. You are as good looking up close as you are from a distance." I said "Thank you" and smiled and went on my way. A little bit later, I ran into him again at the other end of the store. He said "Ok, I have to ask you. Aren't you tall enough without those heels?" I told him that I just liked the boots and they were fun to wear. "ok, fair enough" was his reply and he wandered off.

I guess my new Colortration makeup does a good job of covering the beard shadow. :) That's twice I got hit on with less than 2 minutes between.

And people wonder why I like to cross dress so much...

Miracles

It is the absolute refusal to consider any possibility other than the outcome you have selected that prepares the Field of Possibilities for a miracle. It is the further refusal to judge anything by its appearance that makes the moment ready for magic. In miracle working, you must be prepared to ignore the evidence of your own eyes, you must close up your ears, and you must be out of your mind. If you are in your head, if you are in your mind, you will think your way right out of the miracle. When you perform miracles, ‘you do the unthinkable.’

My new wine rack

Built from scrap lumber. :)

Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Colortration makeup

Well, it looks like I may have found a good replacement form my Max Factor pan stik. I ordered a sampler from Colortration and their primer and have used it a few times now, and I have to say that it does a really good job of covering the beard shadow. Now, instead of clown pink, liquid foundation, pan stik, and powder, all I am needing is the primer and Colortration makeup. I still need the foundation and powder for the upper part of my face to get rid of the uneven skin tone, but it really is amazing how well this stuff covers and so far it lasts at least as long as my other products. I do notice a bit of a shine from my oily skin, but that is normal for me after 8 or so hours with makeup on. I ordered some of the right shade yesterday and am waiting for it to come in now.

First casualty

Well, tonight I noticed my first casualty from my wines. A small bottle of the apple with brown sugar blew the cork sometime over the last few days. I don't know if the cork just wasn't seated correctly or what, because this stuff didn't show signs of fermentation for months before I bottled the stuff. I guess it could be worse, the bottle could have blown up.

Strawberry riesling?

I may have invented a new wine recently. I blended some of my strawberry wine with some riesling. It actually came out quite good and I will definitely be doing it again. I'm seriously considering taking a few bottles of each, blending them and re-bottling them. Crackberry... The only way to fly.

Passing is such a wonderful feeling

I had a great experience today at the doctor's office. I dressed up a touch, grey snakeskin print skirt, grey top, grey pantyhose, heeled mary janes, and a short black sweater. While waiting to go in and get my shot, the 79 year old lady next to me commented on my purse, so we chatted about that for a few, then we started discussing the allergy shots. After I got my shot, we continued the conversation about the shots, and eventually moved on to the subject of my nails. She liked the nails, and during the conversation, the lady (i'd say mid 40's by the greying hair) a few seats down got in on the conversation. We chatted away for a good half hour and I know for a fact that the 79 y/o saw me as a woman and I'm pretty sure the other woman did too. :)

I love strawberries

Especially when they are turned into wine. Yum! The batch of strawberry wine that I made is absolutely fabulous. I will definitely be making more of this in another few months so we don't run out. :)

Peaches.. yum

Today I started a batch of peach wine. If it turns out well, it'll be ready for Pennsic. :)

Say cheese

Today we finally broke down and bought a new point & shoot camera for each of us. The SLR is great, but there are many times when it isn't around and we wish we had a camera. The simple solution was to get a point & shoot for each of us to carry around. I also rearranged the camcorder & SLR bags and got it so we may actually use the camcorder once in a while. What a concept!

Get Smart

Last night I introduced Katie to Get Smart. She seemed to like the show and I had fun watching it again after not seeing it for quite a few years. :)

Posterous test

This should go to twitter, blogger, and facebook. :)

I may have found new makeup

I did some research and found ColorTration. Supposedly it covers fully
in one thin coat and lasts all day. I'll find out in a few days when I
get the order.

NOOOO!!!!

I just found out why I have not been able to get my Max Factor Pan Stik
at Walmart. I though the store redesign was the reason i could not find
it, but no... They discontinued the product! Now I need to find another
concealer that works as well and is in my shade and fast before I run
out. It took me years to find this product. This is not a good thing at
all. I am so not happy.

Androgynous - Joan Jett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bs6QT82Tu4

Androgynous

Here comes Dick
He's wearing a skirt
Here comes Jane
You know she's sporting a chain
Same hair revolution
Same build evolution
Tomorrow who's going to fuss

And they love each other so
Androgynous
Closer than you know
Love each other so
Androgynous

Well don't get him wrong
And don't get him mad
He might be a father
But he sure ain't a dad
She don't need
Advice that they send to her
She's happy with the way she looks
She's happy with her gender

And they love each other so
Androgynous
Closer than you know
Love each other so
Androgynous

Mirror image see no damage
See no evil at all
Cupie dolls and urine stalls
Will be laughed at the way
You're laughed at now

Now something meets boy
And something meets girl
They both are the same
They're overjoyed in this world
Same hair revolution, unisex, evolution
Tomorrow who's gonna fuss

And tomorrow Dick is wearing pants
Tomorrow Jane's wearing a dress
Future outcasts and a they don't last
And a today the people dress the way
That they please
The way they tried to do in the last century

And they love each other so
Androgynous
Closer than you know
Love each other so
Androgynous
Androgynous
Androgynous
Don't you get it
Androgynous

Another advantage to being androgynous

This weekend we were visiting some friends. Friday was a Heather day like normal and since our friends have no issue with Heather it worked out well. Last night we were talking and they mentioned their neighbor wanted to meet Heather. I hadn't planned a Heather weekend, but since I always wear "women's" clothes anyway it was no big deal for me to do a Heather day at all. I didn't even have to change what I had planned to wear. Since my wife and I share a makeup case, all of my makeup was already with me too. :)

Cross dressing girl?

We're at the park and I see this lesbian (I know because she is here with her partner) who I would consider to be cross dressing (at least if women had to do that for acceptance). She's wearing baggy cargo shorts, loose fitting t-shirt and has short hair, no earrings or makeup and her nails are guy length with no polish and wearing neutral flip flops. She's small chested (I'd say an A cup) too which the t-shirt totally hides. If it wasn't for the hairless legs and voice she would totally pass for a guy, and the legs most people wouldn't notice anyway.

Conversations at the doctor's office

So today I went to get my allergy shot. It was a typical day for me.
Since it was going to be warm I wore a denim halter dress. They had a
new receptionist working there so when she called my name and I came up
to sign the paperwork for the insurance, she was surprised and asked me
twice if I was Joseph. :)

When it was time to go in for my shot, the nurse who normally does the
shots complimented me on my dress, which struck up a conversation on
denim skirts. From there we got to sun dresses and I ended up giving a
few fashion pointers to two of the nurses on what to wear with a skirt
and what to avoid.

It's days like this that my study of the feminine really pays off.
Sometimes I think I know more about how to be a woman than some women
do. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but I'll go with it.

Friday night

Friday night we actually had a chance to get out for a change. We went
to Theresa's Osaka in Toms River and met a few friends of ours. The
sushi was incredible and we had a really good time. I hope we get a
chance to do it again sometime soon.

Possibly the best advice ever

I just had to repost this blog entry... This is from:
http://crossdresserswife.com/index.php/2010/08/19/no-one-is-normal/

Pass this around. Let's get the word out about this blog post and maybe
save a marriage or two.

No One Is "Normal"

So much hate, ladies! So much hate! I don't know when I became "bitch
about my freaky husband lady" but it's getting a little old. It's not
that I don't want you to express your frustration – I've been there, I
understand exactly where you're coming from, and I want to be able to
help – but is it really necessary to spew the fury with your life
entirely onto your crossdresser? I know, I know, you're having a rough
time of it. Work sucks, the kids suck, your in-laws suck, the neighbors
suck, your car sucks, and something expensive just broke down in your
house AGAIN. Now was NOT the time for your husband to "come out of the
crossdressing closet" so to speak. But he did and now you've got to deal
with it.

It's hardly fair, is it?
You just wish you could have a "normal" husband, right? Like, for
example, that neighbor down the way who has that pretty yard and that
pretty house and her 2.5 kids are SO well-behaved, it could make you
sick? Or your sister-in-law with the lawyer husband and the champion
dalmatians who just bought that nice loft downtown?

One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn once I "grew up" was that
real life is exactly like high school. You can try hard to make it not
like high school – cut out the drama-llama friends, for example, or lose
weight/stop drinking/actually wake up on time – but at it's core real
life is filled with the same petty bullshit as high school, just on a
larger scale and with more money worries. Backstabbing bitches still
exist and they will still backstab you at the likeliest opportunity.
That douchebag jerk who bumped you in the hall still bumps into you in
the hall, but now he calls it a joke and is just trying to "lighten up
your Monday, bro." And, like high school, you occasionally come to the
crashing realization that, just like high school, NO ONE is normal.

Your perfect neighbors might get intimate twice a year. He may be more
interested in porn than people and she might be schtupping her
brother-in-law. Your fantastic family might be drowning in debt and
fighting every night of the week. No one has a perfect life and that
Norman Rockwell Normal that tv commercials and pop-up ads try to sell
you is pure fiction. There've been studies done and books written (The
Nostalgia Trap) on that very subject. Society needs us to think that
there's some normal standard to live up to and it needs us to feel
guilty or angry when we don't. You already know that money is made by
making us feel bad about ourselves and our lives. We've been told since
we were very small that a man acts one way and a woman another. When our
spouses don't act the way we've been told they're supposed to act, we
get angry. But why?

One piece of advice I find myself giving over and over again these days
is this: Take a Good Long Look at your own perceptions of marriage and
the man you married.

When you married him did you think you needed to "fix" anything about
him? His hygiene, the way he kept house, maybe some of the friends he
keeps or activities he participates in? Why do you think that? If he's
good enough to marry, why do you want to change those aspects of him?
Because it's more convenient for you? Because society frowns on the way
he spends his spare time (gaming, watching sports, playing poker, etc)?
Because it doesn't involve you?

If you want to change aspects of him (not related to crossdressing) then
you need to figure out WHY and possibly sort out if his changing is
really and honestly going to make your marriage better. A crippling WoW
addiction is one thing but getting together one night a week for some
D&D with his buddies is something else entirely. If his hobbies aren't
hurting your marriage by taking up 1) more time than you (as a family)
can reasonably spare or 2) more money than you (as a family) can
reasonably spare, then what's the harm?

With me so far?
I want you ladies who are feeling so very put out at your man for
crossdressing to take a few minutes and relax. I know it doesn't seem
fair. He gets to have hobbies and maybe he doesn't spend nearly as much
time helping out around the house as you'd like plus these days he
hardly ever has time for the kids… and THEN he drops this crossdressing
thing on you. And you, of course, are a chore-finishing, job-working,
soccer-game-attending, homework-helping super hero. Why should you have
to put up with One More Thing?

Because.
Just because.
Think of it as another hobby, if it helps, but one that you have a
little say in. One that he wants to share with you. One that has the
potential to really open up avenues in your marriage that you never
thought of before. One that, yeah, maybe you might not want to share at
Jimmy Jr's playgroup, but one that is important to the sanity and
security of your marriage. Because it's important to him to share this
with you, which means it's important enough for you to take ten minutes
out of being Super WifeMom to listen.

The other point I've found myself making A LOT lately is simply this:
You married your husband, not some dude. You (hopefully) married a guy
you can laugh with, hang out with, get stuff around the house done with.
You married a man with a personality, not a caricature of who a man is
supposed to be. Sometimes aspects of his personality will grate on you,
sometimes you'll go together like PB&J. But, like Chris Rock says, you
have to love the crust of a motherfucker, not just the white part of the
bread. You're not going to like everything about your spouse, but
hopefully you married a guy that you like to be with. Hopefully you
married a man you like to hang out with. Because if you married some
dude just to be married, or because it was expected of you, or because
you just felt like it, or because you were running out of time, or
because he knocked you up and you needed a baby-daddy… then you might
not be able to make your relationship work.

The most important thing to remember about being in a relationship with
a crossdresser is that if You Love Your Husband then you can make it
work. You can. I promise you. You've got my word on it. If you love your
husband enough to try, and KEEP trying, even when it gets hard or you
get angry/annoyed, then you can make it work. It might seem easier to
quit, to walk away, to say to yourself that some other man will make you
happier or will be less effort… and that might be true. There might be
some other guy out there who is easier than being with a crossdresser…
but I guarantee you that if you work hard to make your relationship
work, you won't find another man who's more loyal.

Hear me out. Seriously. I have NEVER EVER worried about my husband
cheating on me. I am not an ugly woman but I've got some extra curve and
I always have. I probably always will. I'm part Italian – I've got some
extra hair on me that sometimes, in the winter, I'm not so quick about
maintaining. What I'm saying is that I'm not the most alluring lady out
there… but when we pass a hot red-head in a short skirt on the street
and my husband takes a second look I don't think to myself, "That
asshole is checking out her ass!"

I think to myself, "Damn it, now I have to help him find that skirt."

I once asked Melanie, relatively early in our relationship, "Would you
ever leave me for her?" (referring to a famous actress)
She said, "Nope. Never. Not even for her."
Me: "Really? Never?"
Melanie: "It would take you doing something phenomenally awful for me to
leave you. Like cheating on me. Possibly murder. Depending on who the
murder victim was, of course."
Me: "Okay… why?"
Melanie: "You accept me. Really, honestly, 100% accept me for who I am.
Do you think I'm going to find that with just anyone? Right. Uh huh.
Nope, sorry, you're stuck with me."

Then he noogied me.
But you get the point.

IF you want to make your relationship with your man work, you can. You
CAN. But if he, the man himself, is not worth it to you, if saving your
relationship with that particular human being is not worth it to you,
then you need to consider ending your relationship. But don't tell him
it's because of the crossdressing, because you would be lying. That sort
of lie can screw up a person for the rest of their life. Tell him the
truth. Tell him it's because you were expecting marriage to be
different, that you married the wrong sort of person for you.
Crossdressing has nothing to do with it, it's just the last straw, you
just need someone who better fits YOU.

If you want to leave, you don't need permission from me. You need to
figure out why you want to go, the real, down deep core reason you think
your relationship isn't working. But I'm not going to tell you that
crossdressing is a valid reason to go. Because it's not. If you want to
make your relationship work, ladies, you can. It may be hard. But if you
love them enough to try, you can make it work. I promise you. You don't
have to go. And you don't have to be angry.

You've got my word on that.

(On a side point, I would like to note that a crawling 7 month old who's
figured out how to crawl stairs SUCKS. Add rapidly growing head full of
grey hair to my list of less-than-attractive attributes.)

It just proves my point...

While on the way home from our vacation, we had a rather interesting
thing happen. My wife heard someone comment about a woman going into the
mens room. Now, that "woman" was me, and I was not trying to look female
at all. I have said many times that most people don't pay attention and
only pick up on a few superficial things when they see someone. This
comment proves my point. I was wearing a pair of cutoff jean shorts that
were baggy (and mens I should add), white sneakers, dark brown spandex
camisole (no frills or anything like that) and carrying my purse like I
always do. Oh, did I mention I hadn't shaved my arms or legs in over a
week and was sporting a 4 day beard? Yes, my hair is a touch long, but
it's a good 2" above my shoulders, so it's hardly a womanly length and I
have a rather obvious receding hair line. I still got "read" as a woman,
though.

If you're worried about how well you will pass when you go out, keep
this story in mind. Sure, some people will figure you out, but most will
not see the tell tale signs and will only see the heels, long hair, and
boobs and register "female". We all pass far more than we think we do.

Maybe this is a good sign...

I just spent 1/2 hour explaining prejudice to our daughter (she's 8) and
she still doesn't get the concept. I'll take that as a good sign. :)

Short shorts?

What's with the shorts that are cutoff so short that you can see the
pockets hanging out below them? This has to be one of the worst trends
I've seen in a while. Can they get any more trashy looking? Why not cut
them out so your ass hangs out at the same time if you want to look trashy?

Out with the old, in with the new

Today I went to renew my drivers license. Since I know how important a good photo is, I decided on a look that would be more neutral to make it easier if I need to show my DL. I didn't go as Heather, but I did go pretty androgynous as a goth. Here's my old (bottom) and new (top) drivers license photos. It's amazing how much better a little makeup and hair will make a guy look. So, for the next 4 years at least this is what my ID will look like.

Men in skirts...

Is society ready for men in skirts (again)? This is a question that
comes around regularly. Now, men wore skirts or something similar until
maybe 300 years ago when pants caught on, so it certainly is nothing
new. In the past few years, women's skinny jeans have become popular
with men. Men are starting to wear high heels in public (google it
sometime if you don't believe me). Men in skirts is also starting to be
more prevalent.

Now, being who I am I push the social norms on a regular basis. I do
this partly "because I can" and partly because it's comfortable to dress
how I like to dress and I don't care what people think. Monday I had off
because of the holiday so I was home all day. I decided that since it
was going to be nearly 100 out that I was going to be comfy and wear a
skirt. I settled on a denim skirt that is mid-thigh length and fades
from a dark blue to a light blue and is frayed at the hem. I wore a
light purple tank top and sneakers. Oh, did I mention that I was NOT
having a Heather day? Nope.. I did this as Joe.

At one point I needed to run to the store so I grabbed my purse and a
set of sunglasses and off I went. Now, I wasn't really trying to look
like a girl. I didn't have on a wig or makeup and was definitely
sporting some decent beard shadow. While I am sure that people did
notice me, what I didn't see was the normal head turns as I walk by,
wide-eyed looks, etc. that I would expect of a guy in a denim mini
skirt. In fact, there were no noticeable reactions at all.

So I wonder.. Maybe society is finally getting used to the idea of men
in skirts after all.

Ok, maybe I pass (still)

Tonight I went to get my nails done since it's been 3 weeks since my
past appointment. I've been going to the same salon for well over 3
years now, and they know I am a crossdresser. It's not exactly a state
secret. So, one of the newer girls was doing my eyebrows (when I say
newer, she's been there maybe 2 years off and on). She's done my
eyebrows before, and she sees me there regularly so I'm not exactly a
stranger. We were chatting about cell phones while she worked (keep in
mind we're maybe 2 feet apart and alot closer when she's doing what she
does), and I mentioned we had 4 phones on our plan, "one for each of my
parents and we each have our own". She then says "That must be nice. You
can talk to your parents and your husband as much as you want and it
doesn't cost you anything." Yup. I guess even after 2 years of seeing
her every 3 weeks or so I still pass. :)

A day at the beach

Yesterday I needed to take our foster son to see his mom so we went to
Seaside since she lives there and it was a chance to do something
different with the kids. I wore a one piece black speedo swimsuit and
shorts and flip flops since it was a beach day after all. When we got
there we walked up to the boardwalk and went on the beach for a while
with the kids. I pulled off the shorts and went to play by the water
with our daughter for a while. Then I laid out to catch some sun while
she played with a friend she made at the beach. I would have to guess
that very few people figured me out, if at all from the reactions (or
lack thereof).

After we were on the beach for a while, we went to grab lunch and Katie
wanted to play a few games so I let her play a few. The guy at one of
the games pegged me as her mother and continuously referred to me as
"your mom" or such.

After the beach me & Katie went to Best buy and while we were there, a
sales guy was definitely going out of his way to impress me. Katie
thought it was funny that this guy thought I was cute. He was definitely
attracted to me without a doubt. If only he knew I was a guy (this is
why Katie thought it was so funny).

At the beach

I'm at the beach with our kids and amanda catching some sun. Adrien doesn't know what to make of the water. Katie has a friend that she is playing with.

Going to town hall

Thursday I went to town hall to take care of the water hookup fee that
we needed to pay to the town. Being a Heather day, of course I didn't
think twice of going as I was. I went down to the town hall and took
care of business. The lady at the water department asked me if the owner
of the nail salon had her baby yet. Apparently she has seen me there on
occasion and recognized me from there. We chatted about the nail salon
for a few and she commented on how she liked my hair cut. I'd say that
to her I passed and she did not see me as a cross dresser, but as a GG.

New galleries

Tonight I upgrade the photo gallery software to be more compatible with
the website. Photos will finally display without scroll bars. yay!

Maine Court Favorable Ruling on Trans Bathroom Use

From:
http://www.bilerico.com/2010/06/maine_court_favorable_ruling_on_trans_bathroom_use.php#comments

This is absolutely huge. This is the first known case of its kind
anywhere in the country to actually challenge an anti-discrimination law
on bathroom use in court.

Maine Court Favorable Ruling on Trans Bathroom Use
Filed by: Dr. Jillian T. Weiss
June 17, 2010 1:00 PM

On May 27, the Maine Superior Court, Androscoggin County, ruled on a
case involving a claim of unlawful public accommodation discrimination
by a transgender person.

In this case, the public accommodation involved was the bathroom of a
Denny's restaurant in Auburn, Maine.

In Freeman v. Realty Resources Hospitality, LLC, d/b/a Denny's of
Auburn, No. CV 09-199, the Maine Superior Court held, in a fairly simple
decision, that, if it were true that the manager prohibited the
plaintiff from using the women's bathroom based on her gender identity,
then that would be a violation of the Maine Human Rights Act.

It is, as far as I know, the first judicial decision in the U.S. on a
claim of transgender public accommodation discrimination involving
bathroom use. In the two previous bathroom use cases, one involved an
employment discrimination claim based on bathroom rules, and the other
involved a rental discrimination claim based on bathroom rules. I think
the difference may be important, for those two cases denied the
discrimination claims based on truly illogical reasoning.

The holding of the Maine court seems a straightforward enough
proposition. However, this is the only standing decision in the country
to correctly interpret the law. For that reason, this is a huge big deal.
The Facts

The plaintiff in this case, whom the Court described as "a male to
female transgender individual undergoing a medically recommended male to
female transgender process," was a regular patron of the restaurant for
many years. She received a diagnosis of gender identity disorder, and
began to transition from male to female in 2007. She expressed her
gender identity as a female by wearing women's clothing, makeup, jewelry
and perfume.

In mid-summer of 2007, she discussed her transition with a Denny's
manager, explained that she was undergoing this transition, that she had
a female gender identity, and that, in accordance with this medically
recommended process, she was using female bathrooms. She received
permission from the manager to continue using the women's restroom at
Denny's, and she did so three or four times per week without incident.

Everything went smoothly until late October of 2007, when a new manager
came on board. He ordered her not to use the women's restroom any more
because he perceived her to be biologically male, despite her
identification as a female. The new manager's prohibition was
unacceptable to Ms. Freeman, and, with the help of GLAD, and the awesome
Professor Jennifer Levi, among others, she brought a lawsuit.
The Legal Procedure

After answering Ms. Freeman's complaint, Denny's made a motion for a
judgment in its favor without a trial. This means it asked the judge to
throw the case out of court.

Denny's argument was that, even if the facts as stated by Ms. Freeman
were 100% true, it would not constitute a violation of the Maine Human
Rights Act. Therefore, a trial would be an unnecessary exercise.

One major problem with this argument is that Ms. Freeman specifically
stated in her complaint that she is female. If, as Denny's argued, they
accepted her facts as 100% true for purposes of this motion, then it's
contradictory to turn around and claim she's "really" male. When there's
contested facts, a motion like this is loser, because then a trial to
determine the facts really is necessary.

Denny's further argument, as stated in its motion papers, was that the
restaurant manager did not prohibit Ms. Freeman from using the women's
room because of her gender identity. Rather, the manager prohibited her
from using the women's room because of her perceived biological maleness.

This is a strange argument. Essentially, Denny's conceded that it
discriminated based on gender identity, but tried to say that's okay
because they don't agree with her gender identity.

Jeez, if that's all it took to defeat a discrimination claim, then a
race discriminator could win by saying that they didn't agree with the
plaintiff's asserted race.

And then Denny's lawyer showed that he didn't really understand the
whole transgender discrimination thing at all.

Importantly, there is no allegation suggesting that Plaintiff was
somehow prevented from using the restroom that is designated as the
men's restroom.

Importantly, indeed. As you may recognize, this quote from Denny's
lawyer seems to assume that "not discriminating" against Ms. Freeman
based on her gender identity required them to ignore her gender
identity, and focus instead on her sex at birth.

Well, if one knows nothing about the purpose of the statute, the idea
could have some superficial appeal, in Bizarro World.
The Maine Human Rights Act

The Maine Human Rights Act prohibits discrimination in public
accommodations, such as restaurants, based on, among other factors,
gender identity or expression.

The Maine law is an example of those non-discrimination laws that define
"sexual orientation" to include "gender identity or expression." While
it does not conform to the commonly-held theory that sexual orientation
and gender identity are separate concepts, it nonetheless provides legal
protection to transgender persons. However, one reading the Court's
opinion may be surprised to read that the plaintiff is protected because
of her "sexual orientation." The Court is using that term as defined by
the Maine Human Rights Act, rather than the ordinary sense of the term
as we know it.

The Judge noted that the Maine Human Rights Commission has provided
additional explanation of the definition of "gender identity" and
"gender expression." The term "gender identity" means gender-related
identity "whether or not that identity is different from that
traditionally associated with that individual's assigned sex at birth,
including, but not limited to, a gender identity that is transgender or
androgynous."

This is a very important definition, though the Court doesn't explain
why. The reason it's so important is that it makes a clear distinction
between the subject of protection, i.e., gender-related identity, and
the "legal" sex of the subject, i.e., the assigned sex at birth.

That part of the definition is common enough. However, it's one of a
very few statutes that I've seen that make reference to the term
"transgender." I don't recall seeing any that refer to "androgynous"
identity.

In other words, this section of the Maine Human Rights Act protects
one's identification as male or female, regardless of the sex on the
birth certificate. The statute omits any requirement of changing one's
sex at birth in order to receive the protection of the statute.

The Maine Human Rights Commission also explains that "gender expression"
is protected, meaning "the manner in which an individual's gender
identity is expressed, including, but not limited to, through dress,
appearance, manner, speech, or lifestyle," again, regardless of whether
or not that expression is different from that traditionally associated
with that individual's assigned sex at birth.

In other words, not only is my identification as male or female (or
something else) protected, but also the ways in which I express that
identification.

This section on gender expression is interesting in that it is
specifically linked to gender identity. According to my understanding of
this language, protection is not accorded to dress, appearance, manner,
etc. alone. In plain language, one cannot simply put on a dress or a
suit and claim protection. Rather, the expression must be an expression
of one's identity. A subtle difference, perhaps, and yet significant.

In any event, let's get back to Denny's argument that letting a
transgender woman use the men's bathroom satisfies the Maine Human
Rights Act.
What Does This Gender Identity Thing Mean?

Denny's argument completely ignores the fact that the Maine Human Rights
Act specifically says that a public accommodation owner may not
discriminate based on gender-related identity "whether or not that
identity is different from that traditionally associated with that
individual's assigned sex at birth, including, but not limited to, a
gender identity that is transgender or androgynous." The whole point of
this statute is that one may not privilege sex at birth over
gender-related identity.

In other words, you can't point to my "gender identity" and say "ah ha
-- I'm going to segregate you because your sex at birth is different
from your gender identity."

As GLAD's legal brief pointed out, a court-created exemption based on
biological sex would eviscerate the statute's intent to ensure full
participation in society for people regardless of gender identity,
including if their gender identity is different from their ascribed sex
at birth. It could also lead to requiring patrons to disclose private
medical info to managers of all sorts of public accommodations.

Like asking if a masculine-looking woman has the, ahem, proper genitalia
to be in the women's bathroom. "The Legislature could not have intended
for a restaurant patron to be subject to either physical inspection or
the required disclosure of private information."
The Goins Case

Denny's lawyers pointed to a 2001 case from the Minnesota Supreme Court,
Goins v. West Group. While a Minnesota case is not binding on a Maine
state court, Denny's lawyers like the reasoning used in that case, and
hoped to persuade the Judge to adopt it.

But the Maine court ignored the Goins case, and didn't even mention it
in their decision. That may have something to do with the fact that the
Goins opinion makes little sense.

It follows the same illogic as the Denny's argument outlined above: The
Minnesota Supreme Court said that the employer's bathroom rule
discriminated based on biological sex, not gender identity. Therefore,
it did not violate the statute against gender identity discrimination.

Huh?

So if you ignore and violate my gender identity, it's okay because it's
only sex discrimination? Even though the statute says that I'm supposed
to be protected regardless of sex at birth?

Oh, brudder, as Bugs Bunny would say. What a maroon.

Even if the employer's rule were interpreted as gender identity
discrimination, the Minnesota Supreme Court questioned whether there was
any intent to change the "cultural preference" for same-sex bathrooms.
Since there was no legislative history on this point to clear up what
the legislators intended, the Minnesota Supreme Court decided that the
words of the statute did not apply to bathroom usage.

It's amazing the tricks you can do with language. In other words, the
statute didn't say not to use a crazy made-up meaning, so it's okay if
we do?

Oy. What can one say to that?

But interestingly, in Maine, the legislative record is different from
that in Minnesota. The Maine legislature had twice considered language
excluding trans people from bathrooms and locker rooms, and rejected it.
While failure to pass a bill doesn't mean one can ignore the plain
language of an existing statute, some courts consider that evidence as
to what the words of the existing statute mean. But the Maine court

The Minnesota case also had another important difference from the Maine
case. The Minnesota case involved employment discrimination. The
Minnesota court said that proof of anatomical femaleness was required
because of the specific legal format of the employee's case. It called
that case a "disparate impact" case, a technical legal distinction
applied to employment cases involving "disparate impact" of employer
rules on a protected class of employees. (I'm pretty sure, as the
intermediate appeals court said in finding that the employer had
violated the law, that it's not a "disparate impact" case, but I don't
want to get all technical on you.)

The blog format is not a good one for explaining complicated points of
law, so suffice it to say that "disparate impact" cases have special
rules requiring the complainant to show they have the proper
"qualifications" for the job. The Minnesota court basically said that
proof of sex reassignment surgery is the "qualification" for using the
women's bathroom.

But the Maine case is different from the Minnesota case. The Maine case
isn't an "employment discrimination disparate impact" type of case. It's
a public accommodation case, where a member of the public, who isn't an
employee subject to the orders of an employer, wants to use the services
freely available to every member of the public. There's no requirement
of proving any qualifications for a job. So the Goins case, from
Minnesota, really doesn't apply.

I discussed eight criticisms of the Goins case in a blog post from 2006,
so take a look here if you want more analysis of Goins.
Bottom Line

There were many other arguments about the law in this case, but I'm not
sure they're worth parsing here.

What makes this case note-worthy is the fact that the Maine court agreed
that, if it were true that the manager prohibited the plaintiff from
using the women's bathroom based on her gender identity, then that would
be a violation of the Maine Human Rights Act.

At this point, the case is heading for discovery, meaning each side gets
to ask for information from the other side, which, according to GLAD,
should conclude about early Fall. At that point, either side might make
another motion to try to get rid of the case without a trial, and
failing that, there will be a bench trial at some point later in the
year or the following year.

I note that Ms. Freeman waived her claim for damages, as a result of
which the judge said Denny's doesn't have a right to a jury trial under
Maine law. That's a good thing, in my opinion, because educating a jury
about trans issues can be very, well, trying. The remaining relief
requested by Ms. Freeman includes the civil penal damages for violation
of the Human Rights Act, capped at $20,000, and an injunction permitting
her to use the women's rest room at Denny's.

After the verdict, there could be an appeal to the Maine Supreme Court
(there is no intermediate appeals court in Maine). Theoretically, a
Maine Supreme Court ruling could be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court,
if there someone could figure out a federal issue, but I don't really
see one here.

Cases like this often settle. I can't see this being a winner for
Denny's at this point. I imagine they'll see reason. It sounds like no
patrons or employees in the restaurant had any problem with Ms.
Freeman's use of the bathroom. A battle over this seems senseless. But
then again, prejudice is often senseless.

Generation "T"

5 years ago when I first walked out that door as Heather it was a
different world. Most people did not know what a cross dresser or a
transsexual was. At best, they likened us to Ru Paul or such. In the
last year or two I have noticed a significant change in the education
level of Joe Public. Today you would be hard pressed to find someone who
did not know what a transsexual was. In fact, I would be willing to bet
that a fair chunk of the population knows of at least one cross dresser
or transsexual living in their area.

In fact, chances are much higher that a late teen these days will come
out of the closet at a young age as a cross dresser or transsexual. It
used to be when I went out that I'd get the "woah! that's a guy" looks.
Now I get the "hey, there's a transsexual" look. I definitely prefer the
latter. Times have definitely changed for the better for us. Even though
I am definitely not a transsexual, I would much rather be viewed as one
than as a "guy in a dress". We are starting to gain respect amongst the
general public as simply being another human being, instead of being
some kind of sexual deviant.

I think that the shift in attitude is definitely due to larger numbers
of us getting out in public and being seen. Now people are starting to
realize that we are everywhere. On top of that, guys are wearing girl
stretch jeans now as a common thing. Some guys are even venturing out in
public in larger numbers wearing skirts and heels or carrying a purse.
This is all a good thing because the more that people realize that
gender is not simply black and white, the less of an issue they will
have with those of us who do not conform to the old narrow definitions
of gender.

I think the youth of today are mis-labeled. I think they truly are
Generation "T".

I can't believe I did it...

I did one of the things that really annoys me today. I wore flip-flops
to the store. I've said it before and I'll say it again, flip-flops are
NOT shoes. They provide little to no protection from anything that you
might step on except hot sand (which is what they were designed for in
the first place). We were outside working in the yard this morning so I
wore a pair of flip flops. I will wear them around the yard, to the mail
box, etc. with no problem. I had to run to Lowe's and it wasn't until I
was on my way back that it dawned on me that I forgot to put real shoes
on before I went. ugh... When I had to run back out I put a pair of
sandals on.

This week is gonna suck

It looks like there may not be any Heather time this week. We were
camping all weekend and got home yesterday, then we are leaving on a
trip Friday. As it is, I need to get a nail repaired and may need to do
that real quick after work one evening since I most likely will need to
actually be in the office all this week. :(

Our daughter is so perceptive

Yesterday when I was getting our daughter from the bus as Heather, she commented "yay, miss Heather is here to pick me up." She then proceeded to tell me that she prefers when miss Heather gets her from the bus because "it's more appropriate" - her words. It seems that she really prefers Heather over Joe some days.

This brought up another topic when I mentioned it to Rain. There was a father/daughter dance recently at her school. She never told us about it until that day when we found out about it from the school. It seems she didn't want to go for a number of invented reasons.

Last night after hearing her comments about Heather, I found out the real reason. It seems that she didn't want to go because she could not bring miss Heather. She didn't want daddy to go to the dance, she wanted Heather. This really surprised me, because she insisted that Heather is who she wanted even after Rain told her I'd go as Joe and not Heather. Her reasoning for not going was because her friends wouldn't understand her bring me as Heather to the dance.

It seems that she sees Heather as more fun than Joe because Heather is silly, likes to go shopping, etc. For a 7 year old, she is extremely perceptive.

And people wonder why I like being a girl...

So, today I got a package I was expecting. It was a rather heavy one
weighing in at about 60lb, which I could easily have lifted. The UPS guy
brought it to the front door and rang the door bell. It was a Heather
day. I answered the door and he picked the box up and said "I'll bring
it inside for you."

Now, I have little doubt that if it had been a Joe day that I'd have had
to bring it inside myself. And people wonder why I like to cross dress.

Flip flops are beach wear!

Flip flops are not a fashion statement. They aren't really even shoes. They were designed to protect your feet from the hot sand and that is it. It's 50 out and I saw a woman wearing flip flops at the doctors office. This is one trend that I will be glad to see go away.

Is that your mom?

"Is that your mom?" Ordinarily that question would be an easy one to
answer, but not so for our daughter. Being the child of a crossdresser
who is out and proud leads to that sort of question being asked
frequently. The problem being that it is usually me who they think is
her mom. Normally, she kind of avoids the question, but yesterday when I
was at her school party, the answer was easy for her. "No, that's my
dad, silly" was the answer.

But, wait... I'm a cross dresser, right? So the question should have
been expected... Well, in this case I was not cross dressed. I wasn't
even all that girly as an androgynous guy, really. Yes, I went
androgynous that day in a skirt and lace top, but for her school party,
I threw on a pair of long, boot cut jeans (non-girly), and a T-shirt
(also, non-girly.. A black Cirque du Soleil shirt). Ok, I did have a
touch of eyeliner (very light) on and wore black ballet flats and
carried my purse, but that was it. My hair is somewhat short (above the
collar) and I have a definite guy hairline (receding), definitely not
"girl" length. Yes, I have my ears double pierced, but I wear 14ga
piercings in them in guy mode, not girly earrings at all. I didn't wear
my rings or have my nails painted. I was even sporting a beard shadow
(even after a close shave I have beard shadow).

In guy mode I don't look like a girl, I look more androgynous at best. I
wasn't even trying to be girly. I can see how some who have longer hair
will be confused for a girl, but this is honestly the first time this
one has happened to me. Let's face it, kids are really good at spotting
cross dressers. If anyone is gonna see that Heather is a guy, it's a
kid. They see right through me more often than not. How then did a 7
year old think I was her mom? It boggles my mind.

Women and purses

I went to a party at my daughter's school. Out of 12 women only 2 carried purses. And me with mine in guy mode of course. :)

Being androgynous can be a good thing

Being androgynous isn't for everyone, but for those of us who can do it, it can be quite liberating. As an example, today I wore an ankle length black skirt, black camisole and longsleeve black lace shirt with ballet flats. I didn't bother with a wig or makeup (except some eyeliner) and am loving it. I grabbed my purse and headed to my dr appointment without a second thought.

Am I bound to get some odd looks? You bet. But I don't care. The way I look at it is they are the ones with the issues, not me. I'm very comfortable just being me, whether that is as a typical guy, goth, androgynous male, or girl.

If more people would push the social stigmas associated with clothing I think we'd see more like me... People who transcend gender and simply "be me". Let's face it, women wear mens clothing and dress more andorogynous every day. Why should men be any different?

Over time I find that people tend to not really care when they see a guy who carries a purse or wears a skirt. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to that sort of thing really. Sure, teens will be a little rude, but if we blow it off and ignore it they will quickly tire of their game and move on and leave us alone. It's only fun being a bully when you get a reaction.

I like being androgynous. But more importantly, I like just being me.

I added some ads to the site

I decided to use google adsense to place some ads on my site and maybe
get it to generate some income to pay for the hosting. Now I just have
to wait and see how it actually pans out. If anyone spots an offensive
ad, let me know.

Louise & Millie on Talk Philly

If you missed the show, here's the clip online. Way to go Louise &
Millie! :-)

http://cbs3.com/services/popoff.aspx?categoryId=8680&videoId=98902@kyw.dayport.com&videoPlayStatus=true&videoStoryIds=&videoTime=3.552&stationName=Talk%20Philly&

This is funny...

Heather teaches Katie how to cook and Rain teaches Adrien how to aim when he goes potty...

I ripped a nail off

I was so pissed this morning. I ripped most of one of my nails off when
I caught my finger on something I was trying to unplug. It hurt like
hell and may be weeks before I can get it repaired now because it ripped
it off part of the nail bed too. That sucks!

One advantage to being a cd

You can shovel the snow and look cute doing it. :)

Louise & Millie are going to be on live TV.

Louise & Millie will be on channel 3 TV Philadelphia this Wednesday the
24th at 12:00 noon till 12:30. This is a talk show named "Talk Philly".

How short is too short?

After the GG I saw yesterday in the grocery store, I can no long yell at
the over-dressed CDs the same way again.. She had on a short yellow
dress... We're not talking over the knee. We're not talking mid-thigh.
We're talking 'you better be wearing underwear' short. She had on black
patent heels with 6" heel and 1" platform, bare legged (did I mention it
was 25 out), and was shopping at the grocery store with her husband (i
assume) and 5 year old daughter. Oh, and this was like 4:30 in the
afternoon.

A quote I read today

This was posted on a forum I frequent:

"I was at Transformations one day before Jim retired and a CD was trying on dresses. He got kind of upset when he tried one on. He said something about if a man can look this good in a dress then why won't his wife ever wear one?"

Why there are so many transgendered and gender non-conforming people today

I think I know why there are so many transgender or gender
non-conforming individuals today. I can't believe that nobody up until
now has thought of this theory...

In order to understand where I am going with this, you first need to
understand evolution. The process of evolution is the mechanism by which
DNA (God, whatever - not the topic here) experiments with new ideas.
Every once in a while, there is a mutation introduced in an individual
when they are conceived (or before they are born, but that is a
different topic entirely). This individual begins life as a "mutant" of
sorts. Sometimes this mutant will survive long enough to bring offspring
into the world, sometimes they will not.

Natural selection is nature's (or God's - again, not the topic here)
way of weeding out the "good" mutants from the "bad" mutants. If the
mutation is one which is beneficial, more and more will survive with the
mutation to pass it along to their offspring. If it is not beneficial,
most of them will die before having children, thereby limiting the
mutation to a very tiny set of the population.

Now, here is where my theory comes in. You see, through modern medicine
we (humans) have altered the process of Natural Selection. Every day we
have children who are born months premature or with some "defect" who
will now survive to adulthood. In the past, these children would not
have survived long at all. In some cases, this would have been a good
thing because their mutation, disease, etc. is not beneficial. They will
then pass this "defect" along to their children (even if it is
generation-skipping). Eventually, a male and female with the same
"defect" will have children and it comes out again.

Just look at the average height of humans. Over the past 400 years or
so, the average height has gone up well over a foot (gradually). Due to
better food supplies and vitamins, medicine, etc. taller humans are
surviving and living longer where they may not have before. In the last
30 years the average height has gone up 2 or 3 inches alone. This is
Natural Selection at work.

Society is also to blame for altering the Natural Selection process.
Because women are taking on more "masculine" roles, "feminine" males are
more in demand to balance out the population to a happy medium. In the
past, "feminine" men would in many cases go off to war to suppress the
undesirable qualities and prove that they were "men", or because their
fathers thought it would "cure" their young sons. Many of these would
die childless as a result, not passing on the "feminine" traits to their
(unborn) sons. Because more "feminine" males are now allowed to survive
longer, more and more of them are having children than ever before. As a
result, the "feminine" gene is spreading. As this femininity spreads, so
does society's acceptance of it since it is no longer seen as a "bad"
thing (overall). Men are staying home and raising children. Men are
sewing and knitting. Men are doing the grocery shopping. Men are
beginning to assume roles that society used to reserve for women.

As a result of all of this, more and more men (and women, though they
are less noticed by society) are surviving with gender-variant qualities
such as androgyny, transsexual, crossdresser, etc. This would definitely
explain why we are seeing such a surge in the cross dressing,
androgynous, and transsexual portions of the population over the last 50
or so years. Modern medicine threw the snowball down the hill and it has
been growing faster and faster ever since as gravity did it's job (so to
speak).

Poem added to the site

I wrote a poem today titled "But do they know?"

http://heathercd.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=92:but-do-they-know&catid=36:by-heather&Itemid=58

New article added

I just added a "how to lean like a woman" article on the site. I have
also been doing some serious rearranging of the pages on the site. Check
it out if you haven't lately.

makeup video returns

I finally got the makeup video back on the site. I added a videos link
to the menu for it.

To all the guys who don't wear skirts

I have just one thing to say. You don't know what you're missing... It's 25f outside and I wore an ankle length denim skirt and over the knee socks. This kept me much warmer than jeans any day. Skirts really are the way to go. By the way, I wore the skirt in guy mode and will be doing it much more this winter.