I find it interesting how wrong first impressions can be some times. I'm actually writing this blog entry at my sister-in-laws house (Yes, the ultra-conservative christian). Now I know that my wife has told her about Heather, but we have not had the chance to take it any further since then. This morning I got up before most of the house and my sister-in-law was also up. Just for the heck of it I decided to bring the subject up with her. The one thing that I know is lack of communication when it comes to something like this is the absolute worst thing that can happen. I told her that it is human nature to fear what we don't understand and that the best way to overcome that fear is through understanding. I asked her to please ask me any questions that might come to mind and she said that she would when she has some. It turns out that she really has no issues with me being a crossdresser. She is mostly concerned how her daughter will handle it, and especially how her ex-husband might interpret it if her daughter tells him about it. I can certainly see her concerns on this issue and will respect them. I asked her to direct any questions that do come up to me so that I can give her daughter the proper answers, which she agreed to do. It is far too easy for someone to make up answers or excuses to cover things up when the answers are not fully understood. I was quite surprised to see how open to the subject my sister-in-law really was. At the same time it only proves what I have been saying for the past 2 years. As a whole, people really do not have an issue with cross-dressing and TGs. It just takes a little openness and willingness to understand and learn from both sides to make it work.
To date, I have not run into anyone who outright had a problem with what it is that I do. There is only the one friend of the family that has issues, and I still firmly believe that deep down inside he really doesn't hate what I do. He simply does not understand, and his jokes, etc. are his way of expressing his lack of understanding.
1 comment:
Maybe it's not an issue of understanding, or hating. More then likely it's an issue of what it (what CD is and what it brings) means to this friend. Maybe their are similarities in you and your friend's relationship that means something other then a friendship to him, good bad or indifferent, and his 'maturity' (or lack there of) is his only way of dealing with it. If you can consider, if only for a moment, that understanding the "relationship of a friendship", regardless of how deep it goes, can sometimes not be a good thing to one of the parties, then you have an idea of what your friend might be going through. This is especially true if he has things from his past that this whole new part of your friendship has unearthed. If he's spoken with you, and still talks with you, openly, then hate can’t be the word to use. Maybe, on the outside chance of his (miss?) understanding of things, it might be better said as Faith in you, not hating. If this were the case, that would explain his 'distancing' (as indicated not to long ago here), and some of his comments. Lastly, in his jokes and maybe even his demeanor is simply the lack of better communication skills in this 'area' of life. To understand a friend and why they might do something uses both faith and trust, implied and expressed. All said and done, Faith (in a friend) and Trust (in that friend) are the simplest words, with the deepest meanings, to say and damage, and yet, the hardest to prove and maintain. One can never forget or fail to understand: a trespass of faith or trust, regardless if perceived, implied or real, is still a trespass.
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