I must look like a different person

This morning I had to run out to the store for a few things before work.
I was in my Abby/Catholic school girl mode wearing gray/black plaid
pleated skirt, black knee socks, white button down shirt, black sweater
vest and 3" clunky heeled mary janes. While at Walmart I walked right
past a friend of the family who knows me well. She didn't look at me
except to see that there was a person walking by. There wasn't even a
hint of recognition on her face.

Japanese food...

Yesterday we were out to lunch at the Japanese restaurant here in town.
I decided to wear bootcut jeans and my red/white striped V-neck sweater
and my new red boots under the jeans. My wife used the B word so I know
I looked good. :) Anyway, before we left, our daughter needed to use the
restroom and I needed to touch up my makeup so I grabbed my purse and we
headed to the ladies room. While we were in there, the waitress (a
younger Japanese girl) came over to my wife to see if everything was
good. She commented that she hadn't seen us in for a while (we aren't
exactly regulars). She also commented on "how pretty she is" in
reference to me and asked if Katya was my daughter or Rain's. Rain said
she was hers and the waitress commented that she had thought that since
Katya looks alot like her. All in all I would consider that a non-read.. :)

Cross-Crossdressed?

I just had one of those moments when I had a funny realization. Here I
was, mens jeans (I only wear them when I'm gonna get dirty), bra (with
breast forms of course), mens T-shirt, knee-hi's, my nails done a lovely
shade of red, wig, makeup, earrings... So in effect, I was a guy
crossdressed as a woman, wearing men's clothing.

Is that an oxymoron?

You look familiar for some reason...

Yesterday afternoon I was at Walmart and walked past a guy who
definitely looked familiar. It took me a few seconds to place him as I
walked past. As I passed I heard him say "Don't you live on Bowline?" I
turned around and told him "No." He then said "Did you used to live on
Bowline?" "Nope, I never have." "Oh, ok. You look familiar for some
reason. I guess that isn't it."

Yes, he does know me, but not as Heather... He used to work in the
office across the hall from my old job, where he knew me as Joe.

Applebee's

Last night we went out to dinner at Applebee's. My wife tells me that
she thinks the waitress figured me out, but she addressed me in the
feminine the whole time. I didn't see any indications of an issue at all
and the staff treated with courtesy and respect. I would consider that
a successful evening out.

Another one of those "boring" days

Well, I had yet another one of my "boring" days... I decided to do a bit
of a goth school girl look today (think Abby from NCIS) since I have a
new pair of shoes that I have been dying to wear. I headed out to go to
the bank and pick up a few things real quick. I stopped at Kohl's and on
the way out, as I was headed for the Jeep, there was a guy on his cell
phone walking the same direction on the other side of the aisle in the
parking lot. I heard him clearly say "Sorry, I missed that, there's a
gorgeous woman walking alongside me." I knew he was referring to me and
I turned and gave him a real big thank you smile. He said "Hey, I
couldn't help myself..." in a kind of an apologetic way.

At the bank I had some things that needed taking care of so I went up to
the tellers and told them what I needed. The lady asked to see some ID
so I gave her my DL and had my TG ID handy just in case. She took my ID
and didn't even give it a second thought. Now, there was an issue with
my request (apparently they have never had to do what I was asking
before and needed to make phone calls to find out how to do it). I was
there for a good hour waiting for them to figure out which forms they
needed to use. While I was there I chatted with the different tellers &
staff (about 8 older women). Every once in a while the teller would ask
me something (using my male name) from a bit of a distance where she was
on the phone. She kept referring to me in the male form (which didn't
bother me really since it was not meant to harm) and the other staff did
as well, but at the same time my appearance did not seem to phase them
at all. I could see that when a new employee was nearby and she said
"he" or "him" they got a confused look on their face until they figured
it out.

While I was waiting a few other patrons also chatted with me. One lady
tapped me on the shoulder and told me that the hem in my skirt was
coming out (which it was). An older couple commented that they hoped
they would figure the paperwork out before it started to snow (they are
predicting flurries tonight), and joked with me about a $25 referral
bonus the bank is offering. Another guy (mid 40's I'd say) got my
attention on his way out to joke about the referral bonus too since he
was in line when the older couple was joking about it. One teller
mentioned that she hoped they had it figured out before she got back
from lunch (it had been like 45 min already).

I don't think most of the patrons knew I was a guy, and if they did they
certainly had no issue with me in any manner. I was treated like any
other patron by both the staff and other patrons. Everyone was courteous
and respectful.

This evening I went to get my nails filled. While I was there I got the
typical non-reaction to my presence from other customers. That was until
a group of 4 teen aged girls came in. While they were looking at nail
polish, one girl sat down and was looking in my direction. We were maybe
5 feet apart and I glanced over her way. By the look on her face she at
least suspected I was a guy. I carefully watched her out of the corner
of my eye to see what she did. I saw her take out her phone and start
typing on it. I kept watching and saw her get her friends' attention and
then show them the phone. I'm sure she typed something like "that's a
guy". Then they all looked at me while trying to not look like they were
(it was obvious). They didn't gawk or make comments though so it was a
good reaction. I consider reactions like that one a good one since it
was reasonable.

All things considered it was a good day.

Anothe rquick update

Tonight I went with our daughter to visit Lisa's house for a bit. Last
night she invited us to stop over today so we figured why not. Rain
wasn't feeling too good so she stayed home. We stopped in for a couple
of hours to BS for a bit. It is good to just get out with friends once
in a while.

My day yesterday

Yesterday was a bit of an eventful day for me. I started my day by going
to get my nails painted since we would be going out to a party and I
don't have them done all that often. I went to the nail salon and the
place was pretty quiet. The 3 people who normally would do my nails
weren't there and the younger girl who works there was more or less
running the shop. She started doing my nails and a little bit later I
got that feeling like I was being watched. I looked over my shoulder and
there was Amy, the girl who normally does my nails watching. She just
commented abut the color and asked if i was going to a party last night.
Then Tim, the other guy who usually works on my nails taps me on the
shoulders and says "I want to make sure she's not screwing up your
nails" in a joking manner.

On the way home I stopped at Walmart for s few things. While I was there
I ran into someone who knows Joe but not Heather. It was pretty obvious
that she did not recognize me at all. We walked right past each other
and there wasn't even a hint of recognition on her face.

Last night we went to the Ladies Night Out in Toms River. We met with
Kimm & Sarah and did Japanese for dinner before going over to the hotel
for the party. The owner of the restaurant was a real trip. She sat with
us at the sushi bar and BSed with us while we ate. Another japanese girl
was there with her other half and she BSed with us as well. Afterwards
the 2 of them joined us for some dancing at the party which I thought
was great. I definitely want to go back to that restaurant with the
girls for dinner.

The turnout wasn't too bad at the party and I had fun dancing. I decided
to just drink soda last night instead of alcohol. I was glad I did,
because the little tramp had the nerve to show their face at the party.
As soon as she walked in I was pissed. I knew that if she stayed there
was going to be a problem.Rain said she has never seen me so pissed as I
was last night. I told her that they were there and she told Kimm right
away because I had told Kimm previously that there would be trouble if
they showed their face and came anywhere near us. Apparently, I wasn't
the only one who saw them come in. The bartender said she needed to go
and that she was definitely not welcome there. It made me feel good that
others feel the same way and took action to fix the problem.

Dinner with friends..

Last night I got a call from Louise that a few of the girls were meeting
for dinner. Since we normally do our own girls dinner out on Fridays
anyway, we decided to join them. It was nice to just get together with a
few of the girls and do a nice dinner for a change. As usual, we didn't
really get any reactions, even from the ones who knew us for what we are.

R.I.P. Bettie Page

The one and only Bettie Page has passed away in L.A. at the age of 85.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28185814/

All is well...

It looks as if I was right. The counselor wanted to know if it was OK to
work with our daughter and help her learn how to cope with the issues
related to Heather (among other things). She seemed to have a pretty
good idea of what it meant to be a transgendered person. We talked for a
bit about a number of items. In the end I left her one of my cards so
she could check my site out.

One of those phone calls

Well, 2 days ago my wife gets a phone call from our daughter's school
counselor. This is "the" phone call that I have been waiting to get for
quite some time. This was the phone call asking about "Heather". I told
my wife years ago that this day would come and to be prepared for it.
Well, today is the day that we go to meet the counselor. We'll see how
it goes, but I fully expect this to be more of a curiosity thing than
anything else. Either way I will be prepared with Heather's card and
some photos to show her when we meet with her this afternoon (not as
Heather, mind you). More to come later...

I'm an Au pair... Who'd have thunk it?

This was too funny not to share... I just got a text message from my
wife. Apparently the rumor floating my wife's office today is that we
have an Au Pair working for us (definition is below if you don't know
what I'm talking about). The buzz in her office is that Rain only works
because she wants to and that we have an Au Pair to take our daughter to
school, drive Rain around, etc. Now, this rumor just started today. I
wonder if one of the girls my wife works with has a child in the after
school program with our daughter and saw Heather picking her up
yesterday. Either way, I don't think I have laughed so hard in years as
when I got the text message.

Au pair
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

An au pair (plural: au pairs) is a foreign-national domestic assistant
working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs
are young women who take on a share of the family's responsibility for
child care as well as some housework, and receive a small monetary
allowance for personal use.

The title comes from the French term au pair, meaning "on a par" or
"equal to", indicating that the relationship is intended to be one of
equals: the au pair is intended to become a member of the family, albeit
a temporary one, rather than a domestic servant. In the best
circumstances, both parties benefit from learning about the other's culture.

An au pair placement is an arrangement where an unmarried person between
17 and 30 years old (age 18-26 for the U.S. program) lives for up to two
years in a foreign country as a member of a local family, helping in the
home for a set number of hours a day, often with at least two full days
off per week. In return, they receive a reasonable allowance and a
private room.

An au pair should be treated as an equal part of the family, not as a
servant, and shall not be required to wear a uniform. There can be
misunderstandings on both sides about what this means. The usual
practice is that au pairs eat with the family most of the time, and join
in some of the usual family activities such as outings and trips.
However, host families normally expect to have some private time to
themselves, particularly in the evenings. During this time, an au pair
might retire to his or her room to watch television, study, or go out
with friends.

Tasks can include taking children to and from school, taking children to
after school activities, cooking, cleaning, ironing, and babysitting.
Each placement varies depending on the host family. The au pair is given
a monthly allowance and all expenses are paid by the host family.

Just another boring day as me

Today was one of those days that just seem to blend into all the rest.
Thursdays are typically Heather days for me and today was no different.
I went with a brown short sleeve sweater dress, brown leggings, white
ankle boots with a 3 1/2" stiletto heel and a white long sleeve top
under the dress - pretty typical for me. I took our daughter to the bus
stop like I normally do then off to home to get some work done.

Around lunch time I headed to the bank to get some cash. There was a
line at the ATM so I waited my turn and as usual, nobody paid me anymore
attention than they would anyone else in line at the ATM. Next I hit
Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee (for Rain, not me I hate coffee). When
I walked in the lady (who has seen me in there a few times before)
cheerfully said "Well hello there, how are you doing?" Now this isn't
how she greets everyone and I only stop in as Heather maybe once a
month, so its not like I'm a regular. As I was paying for my order,
another (older) lady who appears to be a new employee walked up and said
"You're looking pretty today" and gave me a big smile. Now that is
definitely not a typical comment to hear a woman say to anyone but their
niece or such. It definitely struck me as odd, but hey... a compliment
is a compliment. Did she know I was a guy? Hard to tell really.

Later in the day I went and picked our daughter up from her after school
program. I walked into the lobby and signed her out and then waited with
the other parents for 4:00 to come when we could all go retrieve our
children from the library. There are usually 40 or so parents there,
some with other children. I engaged in conversation with a few of the
parents while we waited and didn't notice any of the telltale "i've been
read" signs. Now, I don't exactly sound like James Earl Jones as a guy.
My guy voice is pretty run of the mill for a guy really. As Heather I
sound a little closer to Cher or such, not really feminine but not
exactly masculine either. One girl around 12 gave me an odd look when I
walked in, but otherwise nobody seemed to notice or care. When I headed
to the library with the mob of parents, again nobody coming the other
way (with their kids) seemed to pay me any attention. Even our
daughter's teacher, who knows "Mr. Irvine" on sight didn't seem to
really react. Now, she does not know about Heather (to my knowledge) and
we were like 40 feet apart, but she did glance in my direction and I
made sure not to make the mistake of locking stares with her. I
pretended to not really even notice that she was there. We'll see if
anything comes of that, but I seriously doubt it. On the way out to the
parking lot, Katya wanted to walk with one of her friends who she has
known since preschool. Her mom even asked me a question but didn't seem
to notice or care that Heather was there with Katya. I'm not sure if she
knows or suspects, but no reaction either way.

My next stop was DMV to renew the Jeep registration (it expired in Sept.
opps!). Last time I went to DMV enfemme I gave them my TG ID card with
my DL just to make sure I had no issues. This time I was feeling a
little more brave and didn't hand it over but did have it handy just in
case. The receptionist (they do an initial check to make sure you have
all the proper documents) didn't even flinch at my DL, which is clearly
male being presented by me. The ladies at the counter were just as
unphased by a guy in front of them dressed as a woman. I have to really
compliment the people that did the sensitivity training with these
folks. They did an outstanding job. I was in & out in less than 10
minutes without so much as a sideways glance from anyone.

My next stop was the nail salon to get my nails filled. Rain was already
there ahead of us, and Katya wanted a cookie from the bakery next door
so I took her over before I got started. While we were at the bakery,
there was another mom (that always sounds funny when I say it) there
with her daughter, about the same age as ours. The girl had a candy cane
and wanted to share one with Katya. The mom said to her daughter "I
guess it is OK so long as her mom says it is." I guess I passed... :)
Back at the nail salon I had conversations with a number of other women
with no ill reactions. If they knew, they certainly did not show it. On
the way home we stopped at McDonalds to get some dinner and I was
Ma'amed when paying for the food at the drive through.

All in all, it was just another boring day as me...

Friends....

One of the big things that we all face is the loss of friends and family
when they find out about us. Recently, an old friend of ours found out
about Heather. I blogged about it the week before Halloween. Now, this
is someone who has known me for at least 15 years. This friend isn't
exactly the most open minded person on the planet either when it comes
to things that are out of "normal". To give you an idea, when he found
that we hung out at a gay bar on occasion his comment was "So, he's a
fag??"

Well, last night he was over with his girlfriend to visit, and Rain let
them know ahead of time that it was a Heather day and some of the girls
might be over. When the came over there were no weird looks or comments,
and he interacted with me just like any other day we get together.
Granted, I don't think he really saw me as Heather, but seeing me
enfemme also didn't seem to bother him any. They were over for a few
hours and we played a game.

This just goes to show you that just because someone is a bit narrow
minded that they might just surprise you.

Working on a new website

I have decided that perhaps it is time for me to take a little more of a
stand in the Transgendered rights department. I am beginning work on an
educational website to "end the segregation" that is in place when it
comes to restroom usage. There are many that are fighting to make it
legal for a MtF to use the Ladies' restroom or for a FtM to use the
Mens' restroom. This won't really address the underlying issue though...
The real issue is that there is no real reason to have separate restroom
facilities at all. Unisex restrooms would end this argument once and for
all.

Going out & getting read...

How to handle yourself when you are out in public and get read by people
is probably one of the hardest things that a transgendered person has to
face. It can also be one of the scariest moments in our lives. Last
night I was out with my wife and daughter at a local Chinese buffet
place for dinner. Now, I never pretend to fool myself into thinking that
I fool everyone that I come across. At best I would say that I can fool
90% of those that I meet in a public space when I am at my best. Last
night I might have fooled half of the people there. I definitely got
read by quite a few people in the restaurant.

When I was getting my food at the Mongolian grill I was chatting with an
older lady about it since she had never tried it before. I don't think
she figured me out, or at least there was no indication from her that
she did.

The waitress referred to me as "She", but was it simply politeness or
did she really not know? It's hard to say really, but the point is that
she clearly respected me as who I appeared to be.

The 2 guys at the next table definitely read me, and I kept catching the
one opposite me looking at me. Was he simply admiring my handy work?
Again it's hard to tell but there were no comments or rude looks of any
kind from either of them from what I could see.

When I was at the buffet with our daughter getting her food there was a
lady there with her 6-ish year old son. he looked at me and smiled as
she passed, but it wasn't one of those knowing smiles. It was more of a
2 women acknowledging each other smile.

On our way out I could see the one person who figured me out at tables
discreetly pointing me out to the others at the table followed by the
discreet look over the shoulder to check me out. I saw smiles from many
of the women when I looked in their direction. All comments made were
made discreetly and in a manner that I did not hear them.

In all of these cases I have no doubt that the way I carried myself
played a big part in how they reacted to figuring me out and afterwards.
I always held my head high and always made sure to give them my best
girly smile. I also let it go and kept going as if nothing happened. The
one thing that I never do in these cases is let it get to me. Hey, I'm a
guy in a dress after all (literally, last night). I was out to enjoy
dinner with my family and that is just what I did. If you act like you
belong there and carry yourself with dignity and respect, those around
you will treat you with respect.

And on the plus side, I gave some people something interesting to talk
about over dinner. Yes, I was out and yes I was read. But, you know
what? There are now a dozen or so people who have seen a cross dresser
up close and with their own 2 eyes. They were left with an impression
that was not one of a street walker or pedophile. They saw a respectable
person trying very hard to simply blend in as a woman. I consider last
night a positive experience because I may have opened a few minds to the
fact that we are real people too.

So, keep your heads held high and a smile on your face. Don't let the
person who figures you out bother you and enjoy your time as you.

Ped Egg

I think that this is probably the best investment that we have made in a
long time. We bought a Ped Egg about 2 weeks ago. I have been using it
every few days as I think of it while watching TV or whatever. It is
amazing how fast and well this thing works. There is virtually no sign
of any rough skin at all on the bottom of my feet now. All it takes is a
little time every few days (and some moisturizer afterwards) and my feet
are getting much softer. I figure with regular use it will be easy to
maintain the softness.

I got glasses...

Well, it's been a good 10 years since i got a new pair of glasses so I
figured it was about time to get a new pair. I wear my contacts all the
time so glasses have never been a big concern of mine, but it is nice to
change things once in a while. I never wore my old ones out of the house
really, and lately I have not like the style of them anyway. Wow, what a
difference! :) I may even wear my glasses once in a while instead of my
contacts now. My new glasses even have a magnetic sunglass clip too.

My new glasses are purple and a more unisex style. I will definitely be wearing these as Heather some of the time since they look great with the long hair. :) I'll post pics once I get some of me wearing them...

I almost don't know what to say...

Today as I sat at the kitchen table eating lunch, our daughter was sitting there drawing. As I sat there, she says to me "don't move, I want to draw you." Here is the result of a 6 year old's talent.

cluttered purses

I find it interesting how my purses have gone from just carrying the
bare essentials (makeup, wallet, keys, cell phone) to carrying things
like band aids, crayons (for our daughter at restaurants), tissues,
moisturizer, business cards, etc. A purse is so infinitely practical
that I can't understand how other guys can survive without one. I carry
a purse in guy mode and girl mode just to be sure that I have everything
that I might need when out & about.

Halloween can be such an interesting time of year

I just had to share my day with everyone...

As we all know, Halloween is the cross dresser's national holiday. Today
being Halloween, of course I took full advantage of it. I decided that I
was going to go all out goth for the day. I wore a black top that is
fishnet on the top part and a mock corset on the lower part, black
skirt, black fishnets with pink & black striped thigh high socks, my
funky boots, black wig, and studded belt & bracelets. I even did my
makeup like I did as Morticia and overstated the eyeliner even more. I
definitely was dressed to be noticed.

I had an eye doctor appointment this morning right near where I work so
I stopped by the office to say hi and show off my "costume" to my
co-workers. Of course, they all know about Heather so it is not as big a
deal to them but I figured why not. Of course they loved it, especially
the resident goth. Now, the eye doctor's office is a whole different
matter. They know nothing of my cross dressing and so this was going to
be a fun stop. They also know me very well there (they've been seeing me
for glasses for over 20 years). When I walked in the optometrist kind of
laughed and told me she loved it. The other girls all had a giggle and
also appreciated my "costume". I didn't see my regular eye doctor and
the lady who did the exam definitely liked my look too. Once we got
through the exam, my regular doctor (who has known me since I was a kid)
saw me and said "Happy Halloween!" as he walked into his next appointment.

Now, here is where it started to really get interesting. I decided that
I needed a new pair of glasses (I wear contacts normally) since mine are
well over 10 years old and butt ugly. The optometrist (a middle-aged
woman) asked me what kind of glasses I liked and I told her I wasn't
really sure what would look good on me. She commented that I probably
liked something a little more on the funky side that would make a
statement. I agreed that I wasn't exactly the traditional type. She said
"well I have something in mind that will probably look good on you 'like
this' and 'the other way' too". She then proceeded to start picking out
some glasses. Now, the "Like this" comment really got my attention. They
have seen me there in goth mode as a guy picking up contacts and things
before but they definitely didn't know Heather. I think I actually got
read in reverse, she figured out that I'm a cross dresser and started
grabbing more feminine styled frames that would look good on me as a guy
and as a girl and not be too feminine looking. As I tried on some
glasses and she critiqued how they looked on me, she mentioned that my
eyeliner was throwing her off on the right size of glasses to go with (I
had extended it past my eyes quite a bit at the outer corners) and she
knew that my makeup was usually not this overstated. Notice that she
commented on my "regular" makeup (I do wear eyeliner in guy mode when I
do goth)... The other girls began commenting on which frames looked good
on me and which didn't and soon they too were searching for frames that
would look good on me "this way and the other way" all without it being
said. Even the eye doctor that did the exam got in on the frame
selection. I think they were actually having a good time with it.

In the end I settled on a set of deep purple stylish frames with
magnetic sunglasses that went along with them. They all agreed that
these glasses would look great on me, even with my normal "not pale"
complexion and lighter hair. When I put these frames on the eye doctor
said she liked them and the optometrist said "wait till you see the
sunglasses on them" and I put the sunglasses on. The eye doctor said
"oh, you definitely need to get these glasses." So now I have a pair of
glasses on order that I can wear as Heather and as Joe. Normally I wear
my contacts exclusively, especially as Heather. With the new glasses
though I may just have to give the contacts a break once in a while and
wear my glasses. :) Part of me is tempted to go pick them up as Heather,
but I don't actually plan on that one even though I think it would be fun.

After my eye appointment my daughter had her Halloween parade at school
so I headed home and grabbed the cameras and headed to the school. Of
course I got noticed, how could I not? From the looks and comments that
I got from quite a few parents there I was a big hit. A number
complimented me on how well I looked.

A little later when Katya came home we headed to my parent's
neighborhood for some trick or treating. My mom commented "that's a
different outfit". I got a few comments on my striped socks while we
were over that way. Next we headed back to home for another few miles of
trick or treating. At one point a woman said to me "Didn't I see you
earlier at the school?" Yup, that was me... LOL

FLUSH!!!!

And so goes yahoo profiles. Not only is it easy for spam bots to make IM accounts and IM me all the time, but they can now create profiles and send me spam that way too. Thanks again for nothing Yahoo! I am so close to shutting off everything yahoo. If you have contact with me and don't want to lose me, email me at my main email address (its on my site). I would strongly suggest finding another IM service and add me as a friend there.

-------- Original Message --------

Subject:	CaraW sent you a message
Date:	30 Oct 2008 18:12:13 +0000
From:	Yahoo! <profiles@yahoo-inc.com>
Reply-To:	<do-not-reply@profiles.yahoo.com>
To:	Heather Irvine

This is CaraW's message: hot damn Heather Irvine u look fine! i luved ur profile, i will visit Manahawkin, NJ this weekend, wanna go out? i got some pics at: http://alicejy21.com , i even got videos, hit me up and get my number from http://aliceoy21.com , for real hit me up on http://aliceoy21.com on screen name tightp! p.s. im online for couple more hours! :) To view CaraW's profile, click here: http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PPHX3NL4QW25IJBWR5ZWY To reply to CaraW's message, click here: http://profiles.yahoo.com/msg.php?guid=PPHJHB5WNL4QW25BWR5ZWY Thanks, The Yahoo! Team __ To block CaraW, click here: http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PPHJHB4QW25IJBWR5ZWY?foot-block-btn=1&crumb=WLNz02J.rON

Yahoo IM is NOT shutting down

Ok, so I'm getting really tired of everyone sending me the same hoax IM.
This has been passed around in many forms for a number of years now, yet
it seems to still get people. I hate to break the news to you but
forwarding an IM to everyone you know will NOT prevent yahoo from
shutting down (if they actually were going to), and Bill Gates won't
send you money for forwarding an email. If it says "forward to all of
your friends", chances are it is a hoax. This goes for virus notices
too. ALWAYS research before you forward. A good place to start is
snopes.com.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/overload.asp#yahoo

Halloween Chuckle

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

Happy Halloween

What a weekend!

Well, let's just say that the last few days have been quite eventful for
us. It all started on Thursday which is usually one of my 2 regular
Heather days each week. On Thursday night I went to get my nails filled,
and since we had a party to attend on Friday night I decided to go with
some appropriate color. I got my nails done black with spiderwebs on
them. While I was at the salon waiting for my nails to dry I have a
rather long conversation with 2 other ladies (other, sounds funny when I
say that). I was just one of the girls at the salon and I don't think
that either one of them realized that I was really a guy.

On Friday I had my normal Heather day. I dressed in my normal casual
manner, a nice black/red rose print skirt, red top, black tights, black
leather boots. It was a pretty typical day really, nothing special.
After my wife got home we started to get ourselves together for the
Halloween party at Georgie's bar. She was going as Gomez Addams and I
went as Morticia. I cleaned up and re-did my makeup using white
theatrical makeup to get that "never saw the sun" look about me that
Morticia always had. I actually thought that it was way too white until
I got my costume and wig on, then it was perfect. I had a very tight
fitting low cut top and hobble skirt that Morticia would be proud of. I
also wore a long straight black wig. I was definitely Morticia for the
evening. Rain wore a pinstripe suit, shirt & tie and I used eyeliner to
make a mustache for her. I also bought her a cigar to complete the look.

We headed off to drop our daughter off with a friend for the evening and
off to the bar we went. I have to say, the costumes were really good on
a number of people. Let's see.. Gilligan, Indiana Jones, several
zombies, The cat in the hat, Thing 1 & 2, a nurse, a biker, Snow White,
Little Red Riding Hood, Hillary Clinton, and quite a few others. We got
quite a few compliments on our costumes at the party so that was cool.
We both got hit on a few times while we were there which was kind of
funny. I got up on the dance floor (which is a raised stage) with some
other girls and danced for a while. I have to say, it is kind of
interesting dancing in a tight spandex hobble skirt... After about 6
hours on my feet I was ready to get my boots off.

We also had a friend of ours join us at the party. She did not know that
I am a cross dresser, but she didn't seem phased by it either. She had a
few too many so we stayed with her after the bar closed until her
boyfriend came and got her. While we waited we sat outside and talked.
She has no issues with Heather at all. In fact, she wants to teach me
how to move my hips more like a girl when I dance and I am going to
teach her to walk in heels properly. :) We didn't get home until almost
4 am.

Saturday we wanted to go to Lancaster to do some shopping and I talked
my wife into letting me go as Heather (Love you baby!). I went with
jeans, boots, and pink T-shirt for the day. We headed for Lancaster
around 1pm an did some shopping before dinner. We didn't have any issues
while shopping and found a few good deals at the outlets. When we
checked into the hotel, we found out that not only do they have a pool
but an attached indoor water park. We headed to Friendly's for dinner
since it was close by and we were tired (we only got like 4 hours sleep)
and really hungry. We're pretty sure the waitress read me but she didn't
let on if she did.

After dinner we headed back to the hotel and me & Katya put our bathing
suits on to head to the water park. I brought my one piece suit along
and this would be a true test of how well I can pass. Let's face it,
hiding things is easy in street clothes but in a bathing suit is a whole
different matter. I had several concerns really. The first was how well
would I pass, but the risk of being read was low. Next was how well
would my makeup hold up if it got wet? I wasn't sure on this one.
Another concern was what if I lost my wig while in the water? This was a
real big concern while I was there. All in all this would definitely be
a big test of my nerve and how much I have truly learned.

While we were at the water park I spent quite a bit of time in the spa
pool soaking up the heat. I even ventured so far as to get my hair wet
(carefully, so as not to get my face wet). When our daughter decided to
go in the deeper pool I went with her because she doesn't quite know how
to swim yet. I waded in and it was as deep as 4' in the pool. I did do
some swimming, which I must admit is different and interesting while
wearing a long wig. I swam on my back mostly and the wig did stay put.
I discreetly checked it from time to time and it didn't shift enough for
people to notice. It felt weird to have that much wet hair on my head.
Another unexpected development was how much my breast forms float.
Apparently they are somewhat buoyant and every once in a while I had to
(discreetly) re-adjust their position. I talked with some other moms
while there and don't know if they read me. There had to be at least 30
people who saw me and I do not believe more than a couple read me. When
we got back to our room I was worried that my makeup had disappeared for
all to see, but to my surprise it looked great despite having gotten a
little wet. All in all it was a great experience and a big first for me.
I will definitely venture into the pool again while en femme.

Today was even more interesting. I did jeans, t-shirt, and my boots
again since we planned to go shopping. We had breakfast at a local
restaurant (the Lapp family restaurant - excellent food if you ever hit
Lancaster). If I got read, we didn't see anything. After breakfast, we
hit the Nissley winery to get some wine. While I was paying for the
wine, the lady behind the counter (an older lady) looked at the
signature line on the card and noticed it was not signed (oops!). She
asked for my ID so I dug out my drivers license. She looked at it,
looked at me and stated "This says Joseph. You aren't Joseph." as she
looked at me like I had a stolen license. I quickly dug out my TG ID
card (I have no idea why I didn't hand it over in the first place) and
said "This should explain things." She looked the TG ID over and said
"Yes, I guess that does explain a few things" and completed the
transaction without further incident. I guess I gave her something to
talk about with her friends for a while. Her comment to me reinforced
just how well I can pass. She obviously had no clue that I was the guy
who's drivers license was handed to her.

After the winery we did more shopping. At the Disney store I found a
great Tinker Bell T-shirt on clearance for $5. We stopped last at the
Coach outlet so Rain could buy a purse. To the sales girls I was Rain's
friend and I do not believe that I got read, even after having a
conversation with one. I came up with an evil thought too. I may get a
small Coach purse which has the signature emblem all over it to carry
when I go goth... LOL That should get a few interesting looks!

I would say that overall it was a great weekend. I got "Ma'am", "Miss",
and "Hello Ladies" from a number of sales people so I would say I passed
or they accepted me as a paying customer. Either way it does not matter
much.

My first "women's" biker gear

Well, I just got my first actual piece of women's biker gear. I bought a
leather pony tail wrap for when I ride enfemme. If you don't ride then
you are probably wondering what I am talking about. There is nothing
worse than getting off the bike, taking the helmet off, and having to
deal with the rat's nest that 70+MPH winds will do to your hair on a
bike. I've had to resort to using a half dozen hair ties to keep my hair
(wigs) in a tight ponytail all the way to the end. Well, no more of that
for me. I have a leather hair wrap, which is basically a long thin strip
of leather that snaps around the ponytail and covers it most of the way
to the end. The best part is I won't be ripping my hair out every time I
take it off like inevitably occurs with hair ties. There's only 1 hair
tie at the top to start the ponytail and the rest of the way down it's
leather. :) I'll put some pics up when I get some taken.

Here's a pic (if this works)
http://www.hotleathers.com/images/products/PAAAIANIKJFMFPOJ.jpg

Why I love skirts so much

This evening I remembered just why I live skirts so much, especially
long skirts. I am wearing an ankle length denim skirt and am bare legged
underneath. As I walk around I feel the denim sliding across my smooth
shaved legs. There is nothing quite like the feel of a skirt on freshly
shaved legs. The way it feels as the material slides across the skin is
something that, sadly, most men will never experience. They have no idea
what they are missing... :)

New pics

I just uploaded pics from the ladies night out last week and some older
ones....

Yahoo is dead......

Yahoo is dead. Switch to jabber (GoogleTalk) if you want to IM me.
heathercd2005@gmail.com is my jabber (GoogleTalk) address. Need a Gmail
invite? Let me know and I'll send you one. I'm pretty much done with
yahoo...

thanks for nothing yahoo!

Well it appears that yahoo has taken it upon themselves to replace its
entire profile system. Now, everyone's profile is private, and even
after you sign into it and activate it, almost all of the information is
still hidden to all but those on your friend list. Real useful, Yahoo..
Thanks for nothing!

Just another typical girls day out...

Well, today my wife said that she wanted to go thrift shopping and I
certainly was not going to argue with that one. :) I got up today and
decided that I was in a goth mood, so I really gothed (is that actually
a word?) it up. Rain said it was too much, I was dressed more for the
club scene than a day shopping so I toned it down a bit. I ended up
wearing my skin tight ripped up boot cut jeans with purple tights under
them, a frilly half sleeved purple top, and my new boots (under the
jeans). I think I looked pretty good personally.

I checked the mail before we left and my new straight black wig arrived.
It looks like if I can find the dress, Morticia Addams may be my
Halloween costume this year. :)

On the way we stopped to pick up some pumpkins. I know one guy there
seemed to read me but he didn't say anything or avoid us or anything. He
looked at me kind of funny like he knew and did not know what to think,
but he did not react negatively. In fact, his reaction seemed pretty
typical of those that figure out that I'm a guy. He just didn't react.
Occasionally someone will love it, but overall reactions are at least
tolerant.

We hit the thrift shop that we always hit and I found a few pairs of
jeans (all women's, but a few pairs i can wear in guy mode too) and an
ankle length blue denim skirt that I can get away with in guy mode
(goth) so I was very happy. Our daughter is expressing some interest in
the goth look as well so we looked for some stuff for her along those
lines and I think we may have found a few good items.

On the way home we stopped at a diner to get some dinner. Dinner was
pretty uneventful but our daughter kept having to use the rest room. I
ended up taking her to the ladies room 3 times before we left. All 3
times there were other women in there and I didn't see one odd look or
anything. Either way, they certainly did not have an issue with me being
in there so either they did not realize I was a guy or they didn't mind.
One thing that I have learned is that if you act like you belong there
and behave appropriately, people will not usually have any issues with you.

After we got home and did our pumpkin carving I decided that I needed to
work out for a bit. Since I was in a Heather mood anyway I decided to
put on a sports bra (and my breast forms of course) and spandex shorts
and head downstairs to work out. I pulled my wig into a ponytail and did
30 minutes on the elliptical machine. It felt good to get a workout in,
and heck if being Heather is what it takes to motivate me to work out,
then that is what I will have to do.

Inappropriate behavior

Last night we were out at the Ladies Night Out. Over all we had a good
time, but there was one individual who had the balls to show up in a
bra, underbust corset, fishnets, PVC boots, and short leather skirt.
Now, this in itself isn't totally inappropriate, although it did show
really bad taste for a public bar. What was inappropriate however was
how this individual chose to sit on a high bar stool.. She sat there
with her legs wide apart, skirt riding all the way up to her crotch
showing off her red panties. And if that wasn't bad enough (and this is
why I say she had balls), at one point during the evening her balls were
hanging out from her panties for all to see. I found this behavior to be
totally disgusting. On top of this, she was blatantly trolling for sex.
She wasn't even trying to do it discreetly. Oh, did I also mention that
there were children present in the attached restaurant for a while after
she arrived?

It is low-class behavior like this which results in us having to fight
over and over for anti-discrimination laws. This is also the reason why
when we simply want to use the ladies' room for what it was intended for
that many women demand that we use the mens' room.

Quit playing with my boobies....

That is an all-too familiar phrase that is heard in our house from time
to time. Now, you may be wondering what I am talking about. You see, our
6 year old daughter thinks it is fun to walk over when I have my
underwear drawer open (That's where my breast forms are kept) and poke
and squeeze them. Sometimes she will even put them under her shirt and
pretend she is an adult with boobs. At other times she does her "booby
head" impression - she puts one on her head and thinks it is funny.
Inevitably I end up saying "Alright, quit playing with my boobies...." LOL

New boots

I actually managed to find a pair of over the calf boots that are fairly
snug tp my calves for once. I'm so happy! Every other pair I own have
rather large diameter calves and so don;t have that snug look and feel
to them. This pair looks great over a pair of skinny jeans. I go them
for $50 at Kohl's.

It's time for leggings again

Well, now that fall is here and the temps are starting to fall again it
doesn't necessarily mean that the hemlines need to fall too. Now is the
time to take all those tank and spaghetti strap summer dresses and put a
long sleeve white top on under them. I find that a pair of colored
pantyhose or tights work great for keeping the legs warm and gives me
that much more flexibility in color selection and style. It's also time
to break out the over the calf boots and put the flip-flops away for the
season.

A pair of capri leggings under a short skirt and a long sleeve top under
a sleeveless or short sleeve top is another great way to be fashionable
and warm at the same time. I find I can wear the short skirts this way
right into December.

Honesty is always a good thing

Sunday, on the way home from WV we stopped at a rest stop halfway across
PA. I was in goth mode as Joe... dark jeans, my 3" platform boots, black
tank top, fishnet arm warmers, eye liner, and leather choker with a
black cross. We got some lunch and ate there. When we were getting up to
leave, there was a big black lady sitting at a table next to us. As I
was getting up, she got my wife's attention and wanted to talk to me.
She said "I love you. Don't you ever change. You're such a beautiful
individual. Don't you ever stop being yourself, you keep on being you."
I thanked her for the compliment and went on my way.

A funny incident at Walmart

I had a funny incident happen today at Walmart. I was in the checkout
line and there was this short lady, maybe 5' tall in front of me. She
turns and looks at me and says "Man, you're tall." I replied "Yes I am".
"I look like a midget compared to you." She looked down and saw I was
wearing heels and said "You're tall even without the heels. How tall are
you in heels, 6'2"? I said "Yeah, about that." She just shook her head
and laughed. I was just a really tall chick to her.

I just had to share. I was wearing 3" heels today, which is pretty
normal for me. I have no issue with wearing heels on a regular basis. I
believe that the taller you are, the taller the heel you should wear to
keep the proportion of foot to heel looking right. A 4" heel is even
normal for me, which puts me at a little over 6'2" tall.

For those who are afraid.....

This post is for all of those (MtF mostly) who are afraid to go shopping
for female clothing/shoes/etc. while in guy mode. Today I was at Payless
looking at shoes with my wife, daughter and a friend of ours. I was in
my typical goth guy mode, black nail polish, black tank top, black
longsleeve fishnet top, dark jeans and my 3" platform boots and carrying
a purse. I found a great pair of brown snake skin strappy stiletto heels
that I just had to have (For $6, how could I not?). I took the shoes to
the register and the sales lady rang them up for me. I was alone at the
register as the rest of our party had already left the store. I took my
wallet out of my purse and handed the lady my credit card. She rang it
up and even commented on how cute the shoes wee. I told her "hey, for $6
how can I go wrong?". She agreed. She completed the sale and I was just
another paying customer. She did not care that I was a goth guy buying a
pair of women's high heels. She even asked me "Do you need any
accessories? Trouser socks, etc?"

So, if you are afraid to go into a store as a guy and buy women's
clothing I have this advice for you... Go in there and act as if you
belong there. Do not act embarrassed or like you are doing something
wrong and chances are they will not care one way or the other. They may
even offer to help you pick out what you are looking for. Don't be shy
about the fact that you are looking for whatever. If they ask if you
need help and you are afraid to admit you are shopping for you, simply
tell them that you are just browsing and aren't quite sure what you are
looking for yet and be sure to thank them for offering to help you.

Maryland Transgender Anti-Discrimination Law Stands

*MARYLAND HIGH COURT THROWS OUT REFERENDUM PETITION THAT ATTEMPTED
TO OVERTURN A TRANSGENDER ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW
*
(Annapolis, September 9, 2008) - Today, the Maryland Court of
Appeals ruled that an inadequate referendum petition to block a
unanimously enacted transgender protection law may not go on the
ballot for the November general election, and the law must be
allowed to go into effect. The high court reversed the decision of a
Montgomery County Circuit Court judge, who had previously ruled that
the referendum effort to overturn the law should be allowed on the
November ballot, despite the acknowledgement that the petition did
not carry the legally required number of signatures. Today's ruling
by the high court is the final word on the fate of the referendum.
"The bottom line is that the court said a petition sponsor shouldn't
be allowed to cut corners and circumvent legal requirements to get a
referendum attacking minority protections on the ballot," said
Natalie Chin, Staff Attorney at Lambda Legal. "We are very happy
that this duly enacted law can take effect and protect a vulnerable
group of Montgomery County residents."

On November 13, 2007, the Montgomery County Council unanimously
passed an act adding gender identity to the county's civil rights
law in order to address discrimination against transgender
individuals. A group calling itself Citizens for Responsible
Government (CRG) sought to collect enough signatures on a referendum
petition to block the law from going into effect. Lambda Legal,
together with counsel retained by Equality Maryland, represented
concerned Montgomery County registered voters who opposed CRG's
flawed referendum effort to set back the clock on civil rights in
Montgomery County. Lambda Legal and Equality Maryland argued that
the number of signatures needed to put the referendum petition on
the November general election ballot was insufficient and that the
Montgomery County Board of Elections over-counted purported
signature entries in violation of detailed statutes that safeguard
the referendum process.
"This long overdue, crucial law is all about assuring that unchecked
bias is not allowed to inhibit our neighbors' abilities to make a
living or rent a home, and as a Montgomery County resident, I
breathe a sigh of relief that this campaign to roll back
anti-discrimination protections is now over," said Dan Furmansky,
Executive Director of Equality Maryland. "While we were ready to
make our case to the voters of Montgomery County, it is far better
that our transgender brothers and sisters be spared the rhetoric
that the referendum proponents have subjected them to over the past
year. Equality Maryland thanks Lambda Legal, the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force, the law firm of Arnold and Porter, and the many
volunteers who came together to assure that our laws in Montgomery
County are on par with the 100 other jurisdictions nationally that
protect residents from discrimination on the basis of gender identity."
Susan Sommer, Senior Counsel, and Natalie Chin, Staff Attorney, are
on the case for Lambda Legal. Jonathan Shurberg, lead attorney for
Equality Maryland, argued the case. The case is Doe et al. v.
Montgomery County Board of Elections.

###

Equality Maryland: Dan Furmansky 301-461-4900 cell;
dan@equalitymaryland.org <mailto:dan@equalitymaryland.org>
Lambda Legal: Tika Milan 212-809-8585 ext. 223;
tmilan@lambdalegal.org <mailto:tmilan@lambdalegal.org>

New myspace layout

Well, I decided to change my myspace layout. It was time for something different.

One of my bigger pet peeves

One of my bigger pet peeves is one that I run across all the time as I
read transgendered and crossdressing related posts on the net. In almost
every case the articles, blogs, etc. reference MtF as if it is all that
there is. They will talk about looking like a woman, becoming a woman,
it's all about being a woman, etc. In so many cases the articles present
their "facts" and totally forget to take into account that there are
those out there that are FtM as well. Please, if you are going to talk
about transgendered or crossdressing issues, remember that there is
another side that is equally as important and just as valid.

A worthwhile quote from the net (author unknown)

*Employment anti-discrimination is not about making anyone "believe" anything-- it is about protecting people from being fired (or not being hired) regardless of their abilities or qualifications, merely because they are transgender.  If such legislation is enacted, transphobes will retain their right to believe whatever they want, but they will not be allowed to use those beliefs to justify discrimination or workplace harassment. Anti-discrimination laws are not "thought crime" laws.

Going strapless

For any GG (or TS with their own breasts), going strapless isn't
necessarily a big deal. For them, going strapless is a simple matter and
they don't necessarily have to worry about losing their breasts or the
dress while they walk. For a crossdresser on the other hand, this is a
whole different matter. You see, for me (being a crossdresser), I rely
on my bra (or a really tight top) to hold my breast forms in place.
Without this support, there is no way for me to keep the "girls" where
they belong. Now, going strapless presents some different challenges.
The first one is finding a dress that fits properly. If it is even a
little loose, there is no way I can possibly keep it in place since the
only thing holding it up is the breasts. The next challenge is finding
support for my breast forms that will stay put without straps to hold
them up. I have tried many bras strapless and they all inevitably slip
down over time and I constantly have to pull the bra back up to keep my
breasts from being down by my waist. I have tried long line bras, body
briefers (these were the worst actually), and a number of bras. Well,
the other day I finally found a bra that would stay in place. This bra
has a thin band of silicon around the inner edges of the bra all the way
around the band and fairly rigid cups. I found that if I put the bra on
and hook it at the tightest setting (which is a bit smaller than I
normally wear), the silicon held the bra in place for much longer. Now
instead of having to reposition things every 10 minutes, I could go
several hours before I noticed any movement. I actually wore a black &
pink strapless dress out in public for the very first time on Friday.
Now that I found a bra that can be worn strapless I definitely plan on
going strapless more often. I just love the feeling and the look. :)

One of those awkward moments....

I was just at the store with our daughter getting some last minute
supplies for the BBQ tomorrow. Being out as Heather does have its risks
I suppose. Today while we were at the grocery store one of our
daughter's schoolmates' moms walked by and asked if she was excited to
be going back to school. We chatted for a few and she asked me if we
were ready for her to go back to school yet. I honestly think she
thought I was katya's mom. Let's face it, most parents don't know the
parents of their kids classmates all that well. When I got home I told
my wife to be prepared for a possible awkward moment if they met up at a
school function. My wife said "Oh, you met my husband's cousin, Heather?" :)

Ahh... the logic of a 6 year old.

Yesterday was a pretty typical Heather day for me. I went to get my
nails done and then we went for a ride on the motorcycle, just a couple
of biker chicks. We took a run to a winery and bought a few bottles of
wine. After we got done with our ride we picked our daughter up from
daycare and were heading out to get some dinner and grocery shopping.
Since it was a Heather day, my wife went in to get her. When our
daughter got in the car, she asked "So, where are we going out for
dinner?" I replied "What makes you think we're going out to dinner?" Her
reply really showed just how a 6 year old can think. She said "Miss
Heather is in the car. Whenever Miss Heather is in the car, we go out to
eat."

She was right.. More often than not, if we're going to eat out it's a
Heather day when we do it. It is just the way that it ends up working
out for us. We don't plan it that way. I just think it is interesting
how she can put things together like that.

Writing, writing, and more writing

I finally got back to doing some writing on my book. I knew when I
started that this would neither be easy nor quick to do. I am getting
some of the basic concepts put down in a somewhat coherent form. I keep
coming back and re-reading what I have written and adding a little here
or there, maybe rearranging some text to make it flow better. I have
like 9 documents started on various topics which will eventually be
melded together into chapters of the book.

Google likes me again

I checked this morning and Google once again likes my site.

--
Hugs,
Heather

I am like a Geisha. I am an artist, and as such am expected to be a living work of art. I am not transgendered because I want to be. I am transgendered because I must be.

TG and proud of it!
www.heathercd.org
www.therainbowlounge.org

I've been hacked!

Well it looks like someone figured out my FTP password (it wasn't all
that secure) and hacked my page. Needless to say my password has been
changed to something much more secure. The site has been fixed. If you
get the warning from google, you can ignore it at this point.

New pics

I just uploaded some pics to the site, including ones from the July 5th BBQ.

New page added

I just added a "how to walk in heels" page to the site.

How to walk in high heels

Let me start by telling you what I have observed that many who walk in
heels do wrong.

Most people who wear high heels walk in them the same way as if they
were in flats, heel to toe. When you put all of your weight on the
narrow heel you inevitably end up with the typical ankle wobble which
can lead to sore ankles, or worse a sprained ankle. In order to properly
walk in high heels, and especially stiletto heels, you need to walk toe
to heel. Now, in an ideal world you could do this. In reality you want
to have your toes touch down right after the heel. If you are putting
more than about 10% of your weight on the heel while walking then you
are doing it wrong.

The way to learn to do this is to start barefoot. While you are
standing, try raising up onto the balls of your feet. Now, try to walk
on the balls of your feet. It will probably take a few weeks of regular
practice to build up your calf muscles enough to support your weight.
Once you have gotten to the point where you can walk all around your
house this way, you are ready to put on a pair of high heels. When you
first stand in the heels, stand the same way that I mentioned earlier,
with all of your weight on the balls of your feet and little or none on
the heels. Now practice walking like this while wearing your heels. Keep
your steps very short so you can keep the weight off of the heels. As
you grow accustomed to walking in the heels you can gradually increase
the length of your stride.

Another thing that you need to watch out for is many people walk with
their legs too far apart. If you walk like that, your weight is actually
focused to the side of your shoes and not over them. This also
contributes to sore ankles because you are constantly having to counter
balance your weight using your ankles. You need to keep your feet as
close to center line as possible when walking in heels.

The way to learn to keep your feet close to centerline is to find a
curb, any curb will do. Practice walking the curb like a balance beam
(in flats at first). When you can walk the curb in a normal stride
without losing your balance or looking down, you are ready to move on to
practicing while wearing heels. When you can comfortably do this in
heels, you have mastered keeping your feet centered. Now you are keeping
your weight balanced over your feet instead of to the side of them.
Remember this when walking in your heels and you will do fine. There is
another side effect of this technique. You will have achieved that walk
that will have all the guys checking you out as you walk by. ;)

The next thing to watch out for is taking steps that are too long. If
you try to walk in a normal flat-footed stride you are placing your feet
where you have no choice but to place all of your weight on your heels.
Shorten your stride. Think baby steps. Go for shorter, faster steps if
you want to maintain a faster pace. Remember - toe to heel, not heel to toe.

Stairs can be fun in heels, especially for those of us that have larger
feet. Your entire foot simply can't fit on the step. When ascending
stairs, walk up them on the balls of your feet, just like you practiced
when you were starting out. Don't even try to put your heels on the
stairs. When descending stairs, I have found that it is best to turn
slightly sideways so that your entire foot comes down on the step flat.
If you have larger feet, your toes will not sit on the step and you
certainly can't balance your weight on a stiletto heel very easily.
Also, don't be afraid to use the hand rail. There's nothing less sexy
than falling down the stairs on your face when you mis-step.

Rocks, loose gravel, and grass present an interesting challenge -
especially when wearing stilettos. But, if you were paying attention to
what I said earlier you will have no trouble at all. Simply shift your
weight to the balls of your feet and shorten your stride. I can walk
across a freshly watered lawn in 4" stilettos and not even sink in 1/4"
with my heels. I love the look on people's faces because they are
expecting to see me sink in and have trouble walking in these conditions.

Now for the next problem with high heels, no cushioning for your feet.
Almost all flat shoes have some sort of cushioning built into them. High
heel shoes, for some unknown reason, do not. The best solution here is
to hit your local shoe store or shoe department and look for cushioned
inserts. These days you can find inserts that are designed for open toe
shoes, open back shoes, even strappy sandals that won't be noticeable
when you have the shoes on. These inserts will help relieve the soreness
in the balls of your feet if you have to stand in heels for any length
of time.

I hope these tips help you learn to properly walk in heels.

Guys can wear skirts... if done properly.

Guys can wear skirts... if done properly., originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

Well, today I was in the mood for a Heather day, but couldn't do it
because I had to go to the Doctors for my allergy shot. I decided to
compromise by going really goth today. I wore an ankle length dark grey
skirt that is tight to the knees and flares out below the knee. The
skirt is also slit up to the knee front and back. I wore a black tank
top with a longsleeve neon green mesh top. I also wore my goth
boots,black studded belt and a thin black collar. I went to my doctors
and got a few looks, but once it registered that i was a guy in a skirt,
people forgot about it and went back to what they were doing. The girls
in the back didn't even give it a second look. On the way out the girl
at the front desk commented that the other girl she works with would be
disappointed that she missed my green mesh top. She had commented last
time I was in on my blue one and she really liked it. I told her I would
be sure to wear it in again. After the doctor I hit the bank and then
Lowe's. Again, nothing more than a glance from anyone No stares, no
looks of shock. Once the picture settled in, people thought nothing of
it and it was business as usual. I need to get more long black or grey
skirts to wear in guy mode. I'm liking this.

Getting hit on at Georgie's

I thought this was funny. A guy hit on me the other night when we were
out at Georgie's bar. He thought he was getting somewhere until he asked
me if I was married (as if the 2 carat engagement ring next to my
wedding ring wasn't enough). I was sitting right next to my wife. My
reply was "yes, she's sitting right here, would you like to meet her?"
The look on his face was priceless. He didn't know what to do then.
Eventually he wandered off in search of someone else.

(almost) read at the grocery store

This is funny... I was at the grocery store today after getting my nails
done. I decided to use the self checkout since I only had 1 item. Of
course, it wouldn't scan, so the lady behind me on line (who appeared to
be an employee on break) helped me enter the numbers by hand. I thanked
her and then looked up and saw who she was... She is the mom of one of
our daughter's best friends in school! Now, she knows Joe on sight but I
could tell by the look on her face that she did not know that I was in
fact Joe. Keep in mind we were interacting and literally shoulder to
shoulder. So, she has met Heather but has no clue that Heather is in
fact Joe. I guess I pass...LOL

Priceless...

New radiator.... $169

New transmission cooler.... $65

Radiator hoses.... $35

Having friends who will drop everything to help you save your
vacation.... Priceless!

(Thanks Louise)

The laundry is getting interesting

It's kind of funny... Lately we have been buying alot of the same clothes. We have to look at the sizes of everything now because we can never tell who's are sho's these days. Yesterday i put on a new pair of jeans that came with a belt and realized we had the same belt in the closet. My wife told me she bought the same jeans for herself...Lol

Men are pigs

This morning I decided to go to wawa and get some donuts for breakfast
when I got up at 6:30am. I threw on a pair of short shorts, red tank top
and flip flops in joe mode. I no sooner got out of the car when I hear a
few older men standing around outside laughing and making comments. I
have no doubt that they were laughing at me. Personally I think they
were jealous because they can't get their fat, hairy, ugly asses into
shorts this small. Why is is that men think it is OK to be such
assholes? How would they feel if I started making fun of their inability
to see their own feet? And people wonder why I embrace my feminine side
so much...

A lesson learned...

Today I learned a valuable lesson. When I headed out to take care of
some errands I noticed I was getting some odd looks but they weren't the
knowing kind of looks. It wasn't until tonight when I looked in a mirror
that I saw why.. I was wearing a pink spandex skirt (dark pink). It
looked fine when I put it on, but when I saw it in a very bright light
(a 100 watt flood light) I saw why I got the odd looks. In very bright
lighting you could see my panties right through the skirt. And these
ones had big, bright words printed on them too. No wonder i was getting
the looks. From now on if I'm wearing anything thin I'm going to make
sure to wear a slip or camisole underneath it just in case.

Men in the women's room? oh no!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKDprTX-ZjA

BBQ

We had a great BBQ yesterday. I think we had 18 people at our house. A
good time was had by all until the skies opened up and we thought about
calling Noah.. LOL We have so much food left over because everyone who
brought food brought quite a bit of it. There was definitely no excuse
for going home hungry! The BBQ was definitely a great idea as it gave a
bunch of friends a chance to just sit back and BS in a great environment.

I got carded!

Well, I was just at the liquor store to get a few bottles of wine and
some ice for the BBQ today and I got carded (keep in mind I'm almost
35)! The guy at the counter asked me for my ID, so I handed him my
drivers license. I could see by the look on his face that he thought I
gave him someone else's license. I handed him my TG ID card and said
"This should explain it." He looked the TG ID over and handed them back
to me and rang me up. When I left he said "Have a good day Miss."

Anti-discrimination law...

I'm at the doctors office and noticed they have a state issued anti-discrimination poster on display that clearly says "gender identity or expression". That makes me feel good to see it.

Author?

Well, after being told by more than a few people that I should write a
book, I have decided to give it a shot. I know it's not going to be an
easy task to accomplish, but it should be a learning experience if
nothing else. No, you can't read what I have written. If you have to
ask, you aren't one of the ones who will get to read my work before it
is finished. There will only be a select few that will get that privilege.

Transgender BBQ

Well it looks as if we are going to have a transgender friendly BBQ at
our place on July 5th. :) This should be a fun day and a chance for many
of us to get out and be ourselves for the day.

Just being one of the girls...

Recently, I was out shopping with my wife and daughter at Kohl's. My
wife wanted to look for some new shoes so we were browsing through the
shoe section. At one point there was a teenage girl shopping with her
mom. She was trying on a pair of pink wedge sandals (really cute, I may
have to buy a pair). Her mom turned to me as I walked by and said "What
do you think?" I told her that I didn't think they matched the top the
girl was wearing, after all pink is the one color where it needs to
match perfectly. She thanked me for my opinion and went on their way.
This is definitely one of those "one of the girls" kinds of questions
that women don't ask to guys...

Abby Sciuto look out!

Abby Sciuto look out!, originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

I think I just found my new favorite look....

Moving on one day at a time...

Well, today was a little less stressful for me than yesterday. That is a
good thing.I really needed a pick me up so this morning when I went to
get my nails done I got a pedicure as well. It always makes me feel
better when I get a pedicure. If you've never had a pedicure, you really
should go and have one done.

Tonight we decided to go out to eat dinner, so we wen to a local sports
bar that we like to eat at. On the way in I caught a guy at the bar
checking me out. I'm not sure what he thought when I picked my daughter
up.. LOL On the way out, he was still at the bar and I saw him turn to
watch us go. I always think it's kinda funny when I see that sort of
thing happen when we're out. After dinner we stopped at Wawa to get some
milk and the girl at the checkout complimented me on my bangle bracelets...

I'm sad...

Tonight I had to do something that I thought I would never do. I left
the Rainbow Lounge. For about 18 months, the group has been what I lived
for. I poured my heart and soul into the group because it was a great
place for transgendered individuals to get the support that so many
desperately needed. I built a website and chat room for the group. Every
day for the last year I moderated the group, trying to keep it a safe
place for us to be. Then, one day it all started to unravel. It was no
longer the great support group that it once was. It became a place where
members were afraid to post for fear of being yelled at by those in
charge, a place where discussion and debate were no longer welcome if it
did not fit a certain mold. It became a place where each and every day I
felt like I had to stifle who I was to be in the group, wondering what
would be the taboo subject of the day.

That isn't what a support group is supposed to be about. It is supposed
to be a place where you can ask an honest question and get honest
answers. It should be a place where you can mention the "unmentionable"
words so that you can get an education about their true meanings.
Members should feel free to say how they see the world, even if it
disagrees with the way others see it.

I'm sad. For the first time in 15 years I'm even a little depressed. I
didn't want to leave, but I had to. To stay would have meant to become
something that I am not, to hurt a good friend even. I choose to be me
and to continue to be free to grow as a human being, to save my friend
any more anguish over this.

To my friend, you know who you are... I did this to save our friendship.
To stay would have meant tearing what we have apart. I hope you understand.

A few new photos

I uploaded a few new photos to the galleries.

To all the freaks out there....

Today I had a rather interesting day. Now there are those that are
worried about what people will think of them when they go out dressed as
something that isn't "normal". Well, let me be the one to say that
people really don't care. Let me explain. I've been doing goth more and
more lately in either guy or girl mode. Today I wore what can only be
described as an outfit designed to draw attention. I wore a black
sleeveless spandex top with a red long sleeve fishnet top over it, short
black skirt with a pair of handcuffs hooked between the front belt loops
(yes, they are real handcuffs), red fishnet stockings, black ankle boots
with a 5" heel and a leather collar. If you want to see a photo, there
is one in my blog.

Now, with an outfit like that you would expect that when I went to
Walmart and Staples today that people would have noticed me. Well, you
would be dead wrong. Walmart was kinda busy when I got there. I went
about my shopping and was definitely not there a short amount of time. I
like to people watch when I go anywhere. I watch their body language,
where their eyes are looking, etc. as I go by them. I didn't see a
single person give me so much as a lingering glance. I fully expected to
see people's eyes look at the handcuffs or the fishnets or the boots.
None did. There was only one person that seemed to take notice of me
while I was out and that was the cashier. She complimented me on my
engagement ring (a 2 carat heart shaped CZ).

So, put your fears to rest and go out there. If you look like you belong
there dressed like you are, people won't care even if they do notice
you. Go out and be yourself.

Newest Goth photo

Newest Goth photo, originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

goth, etc...

Well, I'm going Goth at least some of the time. My wife is all for it
and has been looking online for some clothes for me to get me going. On
Friday I went to get a nail repaired so I started with a Heather day (no
Goth though). After I got back I needed to load the trailer for a
camping trip over the weekend. I started loading the trailer and decided
it was time to get changed since it was not going to be a Heather
weekend. I decided that it was time to do Goth since I already had
makeup on that would work. I added a little more eyeliner and got rid of
the lipstick and had a very nice goth look to my face. I went with black
jeans, a black t-shirt and my black suede over the calf boots with the
3" wedge heel and a wide black leather belt with metal eyelets all the
way around it. I have to say I loved it. We went to our camping event
and none of our friends commented any on how I was dressed.

Yesterday I put the same boots on when I got up to break camp and at one
point one of the guys (who is definitely the "manly" type) commented on
my boots. He said "How is it that one of your stature can walk in boots
such as those? I could understand if you were short, but you're not. I
tried a pair of platform boots once and was falling all over the place."
I simply told him that they were comfy and definitely do something to
improve the look. He agreed saying they "add to the mystique". LOL

Goth photos

Goth photos, originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

Goth photos

Goth photos, originally uploaded by heathercd_2005.

To Goth or not to Goth... that is the question.....

Today I decided I wanted to do Goth (because I can). I wore a short
plaid skirt, black cami, white button down top, black knee socks and my
new boots (thanks Lisa!), black nail polish and a thin leather collar. I
have to say, I really like the look. I like it so much in fact, that I
may just go Goth much of the time. I am seriously considering going Goth
even in Joe mode. I'll post a few pics of me today so everyone can see
what I am talking about.

Girls, Girls, Girls...

This weekend we headed out to PA to help Lisa move into her new
apartment. We had 2 other TG friends helping and the move was a success.
I decided it would be a Heather weekend for a change, since I so rarely
spend the whole weekend enfemme. I have to say it was different doing
the heavy work (and working up a sweat) as a girl. After a bit of
working up a sweat.. sweaty boobs... Ewww! LOL After we got done the
rough organizing at the new apartment Lisa & Rain went grocery shopping
& to grab some food for dinner. After they got back and we had some
food, we needed to get the rest of the grocerries from the car. I went
with Lisa to help. We no sooner walked out the apartment building door
when a group of like 5 or 6 guys across the parking lot started with the
wolf whistle and "hey ladies" and "why don't you ladies come on over
here?" I have to say that this is definitely the first time that I have
ever had that happen. Sure, I've gotten the occasional comment or such
from a guy, but never like this. In a way it definitely made me feel
good and in other it made me want to yell back "fuck off losers!" I can
certainly understand why many women are so hard on guys that show
interest when things like this happen. I mean, come on guys... Do you
really think we'll come over there after being treated like a piece of
meat. Then again.. if only they knew I'm a guy...LOL

Why modern religion doesn't make much sense to me

First the disclaimer:

This rant is in no way meant to tell anyone that their religious beliefs are right or wrong. Its purpose is to make you think and look at things from another perspective. This post is directly related to the TG community and religion.

A little about my background... I was raised Catholic and then Lutheran as a child. As a teenager I was a youth leader at my church, so I have some insight on how some religious people interpret their teachings and the inner workings of a church.

Now that I have that out of the way, I wanted to write on this topic because it is one that we often face as members of the transgendered community. I subscribe to a number of blogs, news feeds, etc. that are written by transgendered individuals, friends and family of transgendered, professionals, etc. Every once in a while the topic of religious beliefs comes up in these articles. Some are written to tell us how wrong what we do/are is.. how it is a "sin against God", etc. Others try to justify who we are with respect to their religious beliefs.

There are many ways to approach the topic but many resort to quoting Bible passages on one side of the argument or the other. I find it rather interesting that some people will quote a single passage from a section of the bible as justification of their stance on the subject. Whenever someone does this I pull one of the Bibles off of my bookshelf (I own several versions) and do a little research on my own. One thing that I make sure to do is to read the sections before and after the quoted passage to get a sense of the true context. I find it amazing how some will take a quote completely put of context.

Another thing that I find amazing is that people will read a book written thousands of years ago and try to apply to 21st century life. I am sure that when these words were written they were very valid with respect to society at the time. In many cases the "laws" were much needed and extremely valid. The one thing that many seem to not think of is whether or not these laws are still valid in modern society. It's like the laws here in the US. They were written for a reason but over time have been amended, repealed, reinforced as it made sense over time. All laws exist for a reason, but the thing we should ask ourselves is "does this reason still exist".

Another thing that many seem to do is try and take these words and take them literally. They were written thousands of years ago and in some cases translated through many languages. In some cases the original texts are long lost. Sometimes things get lost in translation. An example is the debate over did Jesus walk "in" the water or "on" the water. It depends on how you translate the words. I have read the same passages in several different translations of the Bible (in my case, King James, NIV, Good News) and all 3 versions say something totally different. In some cases the passages are almost contradictory. Which is the correct version then?

In some places in the Bible it states that crossdressing is against God. <Deuteronomy 22:5 - 

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.>

This is a favored passage by some who believe what we do is a sin. However, if you read the entire chapter it gets much more interesting. Why do they not also quote this passage: <Deuteronomy  22:30  A man shall not take his father's wife, nor discover his father's skirt.>

And another question that these passages brings up is who determines what is or is not men's or women's clothing? Some could argue that a woman wearing pants is wearing mens clothing. Others can argue that a skirt is mens clothing, after all a kilt is really a skirt by another name. Who is right and who is wrong then?

It's really all about how you interpret what you read. How much of these thousands of years old writings is hearsay, mis-interpretation, or outright fiction? We probably will never know. What was going on in society at the time that these words were written? I am sure that there was a very real and valid reason for someone taking the time to put pen to paper. But, taken out of context (and time), do these words still hold any real meaning? These are questions that we should keep in mind when reading religious texts. Many of our modern religions are based on the idea that the written words are fact, and in many cases un-disputable fact.

Here are some ideas that I have run across relating to this subject: Some of the anti-crossdressing passages were written to keep men from dressing up as women and sneaking in to harems for sexual reasons while the men were at war. Others may have been written to keep women from dressing as men to go to war themselves. There are perks and privileges as well as draw backs to either gender presentation depending on the situation and time period. What was there to stop one or the other from being taken advantage of? I believe that many of these "laws" were written to keep some individuals from using a presentation of the opposite gender for some immoral or illegal activities. Somewhere, sometime there was a very real problem that needed to be brought under control for the greater good of the society.

Whether these "laws" were passed down from "God" or merely a good politician is not the point of this rant. The point is that they were written down and probably were valid at the time they were written. But are they still valid? This is the part about modern religion that just doesn't make much sense to me. Some people would tell me that because "it says so in the Bible" what I am doing is wrong and I should not be doing it. But are they in fact wrong in their interpretation of what they read? In many cases I often wonder if the individual has even taken the time to actually read what they are quoting, or are they merely repeating their recollection of what someone else read and interpreted?

--

Transgender ID put to the test....

Well, today I actually got to use my transgender ID card for the first
time since I made it. Today I had to go to the Division of Motor
Vehicles to take care of some paperwork. Since it was a Heather day, I
figured it would make for an interesting trip... boy was I right.

To give you a little background, the DMV has a police officer on duty at
a desk when you walk in for security reasons. Then you have to see the
receptionist(s) who check your paperwork for completeness and tell you
which window to go to. I had to renew the registration on the bike and
my trailer, remove the lein from the bike and get a new title for the
bike. When I walked in the receptionists were both helping someone so I
walked over to wait my turn. The police officer saw me walk over and
said "I can try to help you with that Miss." I handed him the paperwork
and he looked at the lein paperwork and told me I'd have to talk to the
girls because he didn't know how to handle that one.

I waited for the next receptionist to get done with what she was doing.
The girl said "Can I help you Maam?" I handed the paperwork to her and
she gave me the forms I needed to fill out and told me to come back with
my drivers license and the completed paperwork. After I filled out the
paperwork I took out my drivers license and transgender ID card. I
handed her the pile of paperwork and she looked it over. She Maam'ed me
again as she told me which window to go to.

I walked over to the window and the lady was doing something else so I
had to wait for her. When she came over she said "What can I do for you
honey?" I handed her the paperwork, including my IDs and she looked them
all over and took care of the paperwork. I had to wait fro the lein to
be removed from the bike so I ended up standing there for a good 10
minutes chatting with the lady. She kept calling me "honey" the whole
time. She said "enjoy the rest of your day honey" as I walked away.

Not once did anyone give me even a second look. The 2 ladies that saw my
IDs didn't even bat an eyelash when they looked the IDs over and they
kept referring to me in the feminine the whole time. Over all it was a
great experience and all that I could have hoped it would have been.

Twins....

Well, my wife just confirmed something that I suspected for a while now.
For months, I have been dropping our daughter off at the bus stop and
picking her up a few days a week. Some days I'm Heather, others I'm Joe.
Well, yesterday one of the ladies asked my wife when she was picking our
daughter up if Heather was Joe's twin sister. I guess this just confirms
it.. I pass. LOL

Where did the line go?

A friend of ours commented to my wife this evening that she can see a
definite difference in me over the last year or so. She only sees us a
couple of times a year so to her the change would be more noticeable
than to someone who sees me regularly. She commented that I appear to me
"more gay" than I used to be. I can see how she would say this. What she
is seeing is the more feminine mannerisms that have crept into my every
day way of functioning.

Some examples that I can think of are that I no longer slouch like guys
usually do. Most guys have really lousy posture. When I sit now, I do
sit up straighter, my back doesn't always rest heavily into the chair
back, and my shoulders are back and down more than they used to be. By
comparison, most guys sit hunched over, shoulders forward and a bit
higher. Guys also sit back heavily into a chair, with their butt away
from the back of the chair causing their spine to curve. Women tend to
sit with their butt against the back of th seat and their shoulder
blades touching the chair back. If their butt isn't touching the chair
back, neither do their shoulders or back. I definitely have started
sitting with a better posture, much closer to that of a woman.

Guys also tend to sit with their legs far apart and may lean forward
with their elbows on their knees. Girls sit with their legs much closer
together, putting their feet to one side or the other rather than far
apart. This lowers the height of their knees and is a learned response
to wearing higher heels. Women will also lean on their forearms rather
than elbows if they do lean forward. When I sit, I will keep my legs
together and shift my feet to one side or the other without thinking
about it.

When a woman sits at the dinner table she will sit back a little further
from the table and rest her arms on the forearms if she puts them on the
table at all. Guys, on the other hand, will think nothing of leaning
forward on their elbows at the dinner table. I don't rest on my elbows
anywhere near as often as I used to, and when I do find myself doing it,
I tend to correct my posture without thinking about it.

When a guy rests his hands, he will naturally ball them into a fist.
Some theories I have read say this is related to the traditional male
role of protector. Males are ready to fight on a moments notice. Through
evolution, male hands have developed shorted tendons (or whatever it is)
that causes them to naturally curve when relaxed. Women's hands on the
other hand have not evolved in this manner and so a woman's natural
resting state for her hands is a more straightened finger. When a woman
rests her hands, they will tend to sit with the fingers more straight,
nails facing out where a male will have his nails against his body,
table, etc. I find myself balling my hands up quite a bit, as is natural
to do. When this happens. I now relax them and straighten the fingers...
again without really consciously thinking about it.

When I walk, I now keep my legs under me, closer to centerline. This is
definitely closer to a woman's walk and is a direct result of wearing
heels more often. Most guys walk in a manner that I can only describe as
Neanderthal. They walk in a much longer stride than women (which I still
do in lower or flat shoes). Men also walk with their legs much further
apart than women do. Most likely this has to do with having to be ready
to fight on a moment's notice. Women also swing their arms much less
than men do and their arms are much more relaxed. There is no question
that many feminine qualities have snuck in to my male presentation when
i walk. Another feature of a woman's walk is she tends to glide more
where a male will bounce more as they walk.

Men have much stiffer wrists when they gesture as well where women will
relax the wrists, allowing the hands to move much more. This is
definitely associated with the stereotypical "gay" male. Men also cross
their arms when they stand or sit quite a bit. Women will not do this
very often, instead they will relax their arms, setting their hands in
their lap when sitting or letting their arms rest at their sides.

I think it is kind of funny. I may actually have to re-learn to look
"male" when in guy mode....